High Yella Female to Take Over as CEO of Walgreens, Which Will Lower the Murder Rate in Chicago

There are only two possible reasons that there are not more black CEOs:

1. A secret and invisible but highly powerful and organized conspiracy by white people (but also involving Asians, Indians, Moslems and Mexicans) to hurt black people’s feelings because they hate the color of their skin
2. Due to the fact that blacks have an average IQ that is 20 points lower than whites, it’s difficult for them to compete on this level

Obviously, Occam’s Razor says it’s number one.

Thankfully, Walgreens is bucking the trend and hiring a true kween.

CBS News:

Walgreens said Tuesday it has tapped Starbucks executive Roz Brewer as its new CEO, which will make her the only Black woman leading a Fortune 500 company.

Starbucks announced Tuesday that Brewer was departing after a little more than three years as its chief operating officer. Walgreens later confirmed that Brewer will take over as its CEO on March 15.

There are only a handful of other Black CEOs in the Fortune 500, including Lowe’s CEO Marvin Ellison. Ursula Burns was the first Black woman to run a Fortune 500 company when she became CEO of Xerox in 2009. But she lost that role in 2016 when Xerox split into two companies.

Through the subliminal energy of melanin, this will do a lot to help the average black person, whose neighborhood is decimated by poverty, violence and drugs, ruled over by single mothers.

If I were a Jewish Hedge Fund manager, I would start shorting the stocks of handgun manufacturers, because once this black female graduate of the Wharton School takes over as Walgreens CEO, the black murder rate in places like Chicago and Baltimore is going to plummet.

SEC WARNING

THIS IS A JOKE. I AM NOT GIVING FINANCIAL ADVICE. IT IS SATIRE MOCKING THE IDEA THAT BLACK PEOPLE AS A GROUP BENEFIT FROM PUTTING A FEW HIGHLY PRIVILEGED BLACK PEOPLE IN HIGH PROFILE POSITIONS WHILE THEY LIVE IN CONDITIONS LOWER THAN ANY THIRD WORLD COUNTRY AND WE ARE ALL TOLD TO PRETEND IT IS WHITE PEOPLE’S FAULT FOR NOT DOING ENOUGH FOR THEM.