Cancer-Riddled Jew Jamie Raskin Praised as “Stunning and Brave” After Posting Masturbation Video on New York Times Website

Men with cancer can wank it, they can crank one out.

The Israeli American Congressman Jamie Raskin, a brave Jew Democrat, is the subject of widespread celebration after posting a video of himself masturbating onto a framed photograph of BLACK Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson (ebonics: “Siprame Corn Juicer Kinji Brang Jispom”).

Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson (ebonics: “Siprame Corn Juicer Kinji Brang Jispom”) is the first black woman to smoke crack during a Supreme Court session. Joe Biden recently gave her the prestigious “George Floyd golden crack pipe” award, an award in honor of George Floyd, an innocent black man who was murdered for literally no reason by a white cop.

“To see a brave Zionist Israeli really cranking his wanker to a photograph of a stunningly beautiful black woman of power has really given a lot of hope to a nation rocked by antisemitism and global warming,” said Israeli Jew economist Paul Krugman on a video posted to X Formerly Known as Twitter (XFKAT). Krugman was himself masturbating to a picture of Brown Jackson in the statement of support.

Official President Joe Biden made a statement in support of Raskin, saying he would “love to blow his load on a picture of Brown Jipson [sic],” but that he thought “[his] wife Beau Bingo would tear him a new one.” Beau Biden is actually the president’s former son, who died at Custer’s Last Stand. He often gets his late son confused with his current wife, Jill Biden, which is an easy mistake to make because their first names both have four letters. It was also not clear if the official president was concerned that his dead son would be watching him masturbate. The White House did not immediately respond to an inquiry by the Stormer regarding the official president’s view on the afterlife, and whether or not dead relatives watch you masturbate and feel disappointed.

Beau Biden was Joe Biden’s former son, before he was exploded into tiny flesh fragments while fighting for democracy on the USS Maine in Havana Harbor in Cuba.

Raskin, the cancer-riddled American Congressman from Israel, had originally published an op-ed on the New York Times claiming that two conservative judges on the Supreme Court, Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito, could be forced to recuse themselves from a Trump ruling.

The op-ed by Raskin was derided as “nonsensical kike gibberish” by several prominent antisemites, including celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay and former NBA star Larry Bird

Because there is no actual process for a SCOTUS judge to be forced to recuse, the article did not make any sense, and was widely derided with antisemitic tropes. On XFKAT, several highly antisemitic hashtags began trending in response to the op-ed, including #RATskin, #ThrowHisShoesOnThePile, and #NukeIsrael.

“I realized there was a much easier way to get my message across, and one that would also show that cancer doesn’t reduce a man’s sexual virility,” Raskin told CNN host Jake Tapper, who is from Israel. “That’s when I decided to just post a video of me spilling my seed on my personal framed photo of Kandy Brown Jenkins.” Raskin was referring to SCOTUS judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. His office later issued a statement clarifying this fact, while also noting that Raskin’s brain is riddled with cancer, which makes it hard for him to remember black people’s names. The statement from his office read “cancer has done to Raskin’s brain what Hamas did to his home country of Israel on October 7th.” Several minutes later, his office issued an apology for the October 7th analogy, instead comparing the cancer to the rape of Nanjing.

The “rape on Nanjing” was an event of mass rape of Chinese women by Japanese soldiers, which was previously considered to be a negative event. However, Joe Biden, a China hawk, recently claimed that “either it didn’t happen or they deserved it,” adding that Japan is a democracy and China is “an autocratic dictator.”

Commenting on Truth Social, Donald Trump said that if “RAT-skin [sic] is going to masturbate on a SCOTUS judge, he should have chosen Andy Coney Barnacle, who is much more attractive and doesn’t look like a gorilla who just escaped from the zoo.”

Sixty-eight seconds later, Trump issued a follow-up post claiming that Brown Jackson is “no Harambe.”

This was apparently a reference to a TikTok post that Trump’s son, Donald Trump Jr., posted of himself masturbating to a portrait of the famous gorilla Harambe, who was murdered by racist white cops for no reason.

Ketanji Brown Jackson’s first cousin Harambe was arrested unethically for possession of crack cocaine related paraphernalia and sentenced to 15 years at the Cincinnati Zoo, where he was murdered by a racist cop. His book “Bitch, I Ain’t Know You” is considered a seminal work on criminal justice reform.

Trump’s comments were widely seen as racist. However, Brown Jackson told CNN she expects Trump to be racist, and was simply offended that her cousin Harambe was being used in a far-right analogy.

“I ain’t think he should did be do like that, we be out here in da community and people be saying things, white shouldn’t be said nothing after they done did what they be do,” Brown Jackson explained to Israeli TV news host Wolf Blitzer.

During the interview, Blitzer began masturbating to a photo of Harambe, which caused Brown Jackson to become outraged. “How you be did like that, gonna put that little ass white dick at a boy got his life took when they white police shook his ass. That nigga was real.”

Blitzer, who shyly motioned for the camera to pan away from his penis, explained to Brown Jackson that he thought it was a picture of her. Brown Jackson took it in stride, forgiving Blitzer, saying, “that nigga be my cousin, we be had some same face like that,” but also asking that he make a donation to the NAACP.

In the next segment, Blitzer appeared in full makeup as a Japanese Geisha, and masturbated to a picture of Henry Ford. After Israeli president Bibi Netanyahu denounced Blitzer for masturbating to a photo of an “infamous antisemite,” CNN issued an official apology, informing viewers that Blitzer, who is 94 years old, believed it was a photo of Harrison Ford. Blitzer then vowed to visit Auschwitz and cry in front of a pile of shoes.

Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson was recently nominated for a People’s Choice Award by the entertainment channel MTV. She is the first black female Supreme Court Justice to be masturbated to by an Israeli Congressman with cancer in a publicly posted promotional video. She is currently touring on a cruise ship.