Community Celebrates as Reformed Colored Man George Floyd Celebrates Two Years of Not Committing Crimes

You did it, kang.

The community was celebrating this week as reformed colored man George Floyd celebrated two whole years without committing a crime.

May 25 marked two years since Floyd had committed his last crime.

“He is an inspiration to the community,” said one member of the community.

Floyd turned his life around and stopped being a criminal after being given some tough love by community activist Derek Chauvin. After Floyd was caught high on both fentanyl and meth trying to pass a counterfeit bill to a Pakistani store, Chauvin did an intervention for Floyd. From that day forward, Floyd stayed clean and never committed another crime.

Floyd’s redemption story, giving up drugs and crime, has led many in America to believe that the black community is not hopeless. What we need is more kind white men like Derek Chauvin reaching out to blacks and helping them to stop doing crimes.

Chauvin was asked how he has been so successful in getting black people to stop committing crimes, and he said, “the most important thing is to keep smiling, as it will make it less likely that the black will attack you.”

Asked what he advises people do if the black does attack, Chauvin advised people to climb a tree.

“In my experience, there is not one colored person in this country who can chase you up a tree,” Chauvin explained.