Crime is Falling in the UK, if You Don’t Count One Almighty Fraud

Peter Hitchens
November 24, 2013

Experts and former officers have revealed the methods by which the crime rate was reduced
Experts and former officers have revealed their not-so-secret method for reducing crime.

Any reader of this column is usually several years ahead of the crowd. Here, we grasped from the start that the Blair creature was a menace; that the Iraq and Afghan wars were wrong; that joining the euro would be a terrible mistake; that the Tories are both useless and doomed.

We already know that the return of grammar schools –once derided, now increasingly demanded – is the key to education reform.

But perhaps above all we understand that all important Government statistics are fiddled, and that the crime figures are so violently massaged that they bear no relation to reality at all.

Yet fashionable opinion has until recently denied this truth, accusing doubters of ‘moral panic’. Lofty commentators and social scientists have proclaimed a new era of social peace and order.

When normal people, living in the real Britain, complain that this does not seem to be true where they live, they are sneered at as if they were deluded.

But last week, we learned the truth. At an astonishing hearing of the House of Commons Public Administration Committee, experts and former police officers lined up to reveal the myriad methods by which the police make crime and disorder disappear from the figures.

At the heart of the trick is this simple aim – to pretend that large numbers of incidents that would once have been crimes are now reclassified so that they don’t appear in the official returns as such.

In short, crime has ‘fallen’ because we have now redefined millions of crimes as non-crimes.

You may still be attacked or robbed. But  it doesn’t count. And this barely touches on another issue, which I plan to deal with shortly, of the vast amount of internet crime that goes entirely unpunished and unrecorded.

The MPs were plainly astonished (for as usual they have not been paying attention). It was clear that the police are under heavy political pressure, from all major parties, to deliver lower crime figures.

This is one of two things our country is good at. Our most successful and fastest-growing branch of agriculture is cannabis farming.

Our most successful industry is the manufacture of lying statistics, showing that everything is fine.

Meanwhile, half the containers leaving British ports are empty, because we make so little and the world does not want it. How long can this go on? Official figures will not be a good guide.

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