Hollywood Movies Should Show Cows Melting People with Their Farts, Researchers Say

People don’t know that if they don’t stop eating meat, start driving Teslas, and really pay a whole lot of tax to the government, they’re about to be melting out this bitch.

At least, they gonna be swamp ass like a mf.

The sauna business is gonna go out of business because people will just go into the air. The bitch is going to be so hot.


Aquaman might not mind if the oceans rise, but moviegoers might.

That’s one of the takeaways from a new study conducted by researchers who set out to determine if today’s Hollywood blockbusters are reflective of the current climate crisis. The vast majority of movies failed the “climate reality check” proposed by the authors, who surveyed 250 movies from 2013 to 2022.

The test is simple — the authors looked to see if a movie presented a story in which climate change exists, and whether a character knows it does. One film that passed the test was the 2017 superhero movie Justice League, in which Jason Momoa’s Aquaman character says, “Hey, I don’t mind if the oceans rise” to Ben Affleck’s Bruce Wayne.

But most movies fell short — fewer than 10% of the 250 films passed, and climate change was mentioned in two or more scenes of fewer than 4% of the films. That’s out of touch with a moviegoing public that wants “to see their reality reflected on screen,” said Colby College English professor Matthew Schneider-Mayerson, lead researcher on the study.

“The top line is just that the vast majority of films, popular films produced over the last 10 years in the United States, are not portraying the world as it is,” Schneider-Mayerson said. “They are portraying a world that is now history or fantasy — a world in which climate change is not happening.”

The study authors said they see the climate reality check as a kind of Bechdel-Wallace test for climate change. Alison Bechdel, a cartoonist, is credited with popularizing that test in the 1980s by incorporating her friend Liz Wallace’s test about gender representation in film into a comic strip. The test asks if a movie includes at least two female characters who have a conversation about something other than a man.

Bechdel herself spoke highly of the study’s climate test, which she described as “long overdue” in a social media post during this year’s Academy Awards season. Bechdel said in an e-mail to The Associated Press that “for a movie set in the present to ignore this existential threat just doesn’t make sense anymore” in the age of climate change.

I guess the more interesting angle is that the Hollywood movie industry has such an incredible capacity to change people’s beliefs about literally anything, including making them believe cow farts are going to melt them.

They did make that one movie about the effects of global warming. I forget the name.

It will also make them accept gay sex, which is a lot more ridiculous than the idea that cow farts are going to cause people to melt.