Israel Orders Anal Countries to Unite Against ICC, Boycott Netanyahu Arrest Warrant

“Nations of the civilized world” means “countries where the government encourages men to fuck each other up the ass.”

It’s a queer sort of euphemism.

But if Israel came out and said “ass-fuckers unite!” it would not sound professional.

That said, democracy nations are like the Avengers, and Bibi Netanyahu is the leader of all democracies, so he could potentially shout: “ASS-FUCKERS: ASSEMBLE!”

The Guardian:

Israel has urged what it called “nations of the civilised world” to refuse to implement any international criminal court arrest warrants issued against its leaders.

Karim Khan, the chief prosecutor of the world’s top court, announced on Monday that his office had applied to a pre-trial panel for arrest warrants for three senior Hamas officials, as well as the Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, and his defence minister, Yoav Gallant, for war crimes and crimes against humanity during the Hamas attack of 7 October and the ensuing seven-month-old war in Gaza.

What was widely interpreted in Israel as an equivalence between the named leaders of the Islamist group – Yahya Sinwar, Hamas’s chief in Gaza, Mohammed Deif, the commander of its military wing, and Qatar-based Ismail Haniyeh, leader of the political bureau – and democratically elected Israeli politicians was met with outrage by Israeli officials, the public, and the country’s allies.

On Tuesday, a government spokesperson, Tal Heinrich, said: “We call on the nations of the civilised, free world – nations who despise terrorists and anyone who supports them – to stand by Israel. You should outright condemn this step.

Make sure the ICC understands where you stand. Oppose the prosecutor’s decision and declare that, even if warrants are issued, you do not intend to enforce them. Because this is not about our leaders. It’s about our survival.”

Khan said on Monday that Israel had the right to defend itself from Hamas, but added that it did not “absolve Israel or any state of its obligation to comply with international humanitarian law”.

Whatever Israel’s military goals in Gaza, the prosecutor’s office believed its methods – “namely, intentionally causing death, starvation, great suffering, and serious injury to body or health of the civilian population” – were criminal, he added.

It has been known for some time that Khan’s investigation could result in arrest warrants for Netanyahu, Gallant and military officers: last month, the Israeli prime minister flew into a public panic over the possibility, appealing to the G7 – and in particular the US, Israel’s most important ally – to intervene in any potential international legal action.

Monday’s statement from the chief prosecutor’s office nonetheless shocked the Israeli establishment, and has sparked a flurry of diplomatic damage control both in public and behind the scenes.

Israel, along with states such as the US, Russia and China, is not a member of the ICC and does not recognise its authority. The 124 states that do, however, are obliged to honour court arrest warrants if they are issued, which could severely curtail the ability of Netanyahu and Gallant to travel abroad.

France, Belgium and Slovenia said on Monday they supported Khan’s decision, while a UK government spokesperson reiterated that London did not believe the ICC had jurisdiction in the case, and the Czech Republic called the prosecutor’s move “appalling and completely unacceptable”, a clear indication of the west’s growing divisions over approaches to Israel as death and destruction mounts in Gaza.

Did you know that everyone named Khan is descended from Genghis Khan?

I guess most of you knew that. But maybe some of the kids don’t.