Large Hadron Collider at CERN to Open Portal to Hell in March

“Let’s go ahead and open a portal to Hell itself” is in fact one of the more reasonable and responsible suggestions I’ve heard from The Science in the last two years.

For the record, I’m not really a totally strong believer in the “portal to Hell” collider theory. It’s a pretty weird thing that’s going on with that, apparently, but I’m not really qualified to comment, and most of the people I see commenting on it do not appear qualified. In fact, none of them do – including the people who work at CERN and do interviews.

However, I strongly believe that a portal to hell has already been opened, and is widening, and this is one of the biggest reasons I support the complete annihilation of all Western cities with more than 500,000 people with nuclear weapons.