September 18, 2019
Have you ever wondered what’s going through women’s minds?
Take a look.
A woman spent a night out complaining about her sore feet – only to discover the following day that she’d been wearing her heels on the wrong feet the whole time.
Ayleigh McGhee, from Glasgow, ‘moaned’ the entire night about how she couldn’t walk in her shoes, not realising that she’d mixed up the right and left.
Friend Georgia Henry shared the wardrobe mishap online in a tweet that has since gone viral – alongside a snap showing glamorous Ayleigh posing in the ill-fitting heels with her toes sticking out.
Women have high IQs though.
They may not have practical intelligence, but they’re pretty smart.
It’s not just the full-makeup-suit slooths that are impressively quick on their neurons; neophyte thots are also quite adept in the art of spatial awareness.
This is the hilarious moment a teenager tried to recreate the Kylie Jenner lip challenge with a shot glass – only to ‘end up looking like Pete Burns’ with a swollen pout for two days afterwards.
Danni Greenland, 30, from Cheshunt, Hertfordshire, recorded her daughter Lily Greenland with her mouth inside a small shot glass, and couldn’t stop laughing when her lips emerged swollen four times their size.
The mother claimed Lily’s lips looked like ‘lip fillers gone very wrong’, and said the teen was almost unable to talk as her inflated bottom lip hung so low.
In the footage, the 12-year-old’s eyes began to water as she held her lips in the shot glass, and mumbled that ‘it hurt’, when Danni asked why she was crying.
Young brave women like this Lily slooth are exactly what science and technology need to make the next big leap.
Since we’re keeping them away from STEM thanks to the glass ceiling that we’ve invented using patriarchal knowledge, young girls like Lily have no access to proper lip-slutting technology and have to resort to painful lip-slutting tactics to increase their level of slut.
Danni claimed the swelling stayed put for nearly two days straight and Lily was forced to go to school with her new distended mouth – with even her teachers calling her a ‘doughnut’
‘Hopefully it’s put her off having lip fillers when she’s older. They were probably about three or four times of the size of her natural lips. She usually has quite small natural lips.
‘I didn’t realise she was going to do it or that was really going to happen. I started recording because her lips looked funny in the shot glass. I hid my phone and filmed her,’ Danni went on.
‘Lily was just watching some silly videos. She was sitting next to me and I saw her with the shot glass. Her lips seemed to stay that big.
‘She took it off her lips and looked like that. It was really funny. I found it so shocking seeing how big her lips were. They’re looking nice and bruised now,’ she added.
‘They’re not as big, but they’re still not back to normal. They’re a bit big and underneath her lip she looks like she’s got a beard now.
‘She was saying she wants to do it for prom when she’s older and I was saying, “no, you’re not”. Maybe she hasn’t learned.’
This is Lily’s mother:
As you can see, she has indeed learned — she learned the Way of the Slooth from her mom.
Despite women having trouble putting their shoes on properly and being ridiculously prone to deforming their bodies according to whatever some media baboon does, men have to take them seriously because everyone’s equal.
Anything a man can do, a woman can do too and probably even better (and with swollen lips).