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I thought briefly about making that joke about Don Lemon saying that MH370 could have disappeared into a black hole, but then I thought: “Tucker Carlson brought that up so often, it sort of isn’t really that funny anymore.”
Probably, the pod was eaten by an end times Leviathan creature that’s come to signal the ultimate doom.
Or, maybe more likely, people really shouldn’t be going 12,000 feet underwater for tourism purposes.
A tourist submarine has vanished while exploring the Titanic shipwreck in the Atlantic Ocean, authorities said.
The Boston Coast Guard said a search began on Monday for the small sub, which takes tourists to view the famous shipwreck that sits about 12,500 feet at the bottom of the ocean off the coast of Newfoundland, Canada, the BBC reported.
It remains unclear how many passengers, if any, were on board the sub when it disappeared and what tourist company owned the vessel.
The Boston Coast Guard did not immediately respond to The Post’s request for additional information.
We will never find them, of course.
But at least we all know what happened in their last moments: one of them was singing this:
Seriously, you know that when one of the kind of people who would pay to go in a Titanic viewing pod for tourism purposes starts to panic, one of the other ones will say “no, they’ll find us! Just relax!” and start singing that song to comfort the person panicking.
The guy panicking would look like this:
Also, the guy singing “Homeward Bound” would look like that.
But yeah dude, like, yo – if you’re a professional diver, and a researcher, or like, otherwise getting paid, okay. If you’re not getting paid, and you get in the pod to go to the bottom of the ocean, you’re really stupid.
Because this is not like MH370. Stuff disappears in the ocean constantly. The people running the tour are obviously going to say “no one has gotten lost yet!” because now that someone got lost, they are going to stop doing these tours.
I see this shit, and I’m like, “hey yo, retard-face – did you check Wikipedia first?”
That list has like, 90 million entries.
These niggas getting in that pod be like “a three-hour tour – a three-hour tour…”
Nah, bro. That ain’t the way shit works at sea. Read Moby-Dick, you retards. The sea ain’t no joke, bruv.
This is some real Retard Central Station shit right here.
I just don’t have the patience for it.
UPDATE:
The company’s brochure says the tourists paid $250,000 each for the ride.
ROFL
