WHO Ends Coronavirus Global Emergency, But Says People Should Still be Afraid

Elvis Dunderhoff May 6, 2023


I don’t know if you knew this, but the coronavirus pandemic was still happening up until a few hours ago.

Now it’s over at last.

Here’s a drinking game:

  • Get a handle of Southern Comfort
  • Pour one out for everyone you know who died from the virus
  • Drink whatever’s left in the bottle in celebration of the pandemic finally ending

According to official WHO statistics, you should only get a light buzz going, because you’re going to be pouring so much out.

New York Post:

The World Health Organization said Friday that COVID-19 no longer qualifies as a global emergency, marking a symbolic end to the devastating coronavirus pandemic that triggered once-unthinkable lockdowns, upended economies worldwide and killed at least 7 million people worldwide.

WHO said that even though the emergency phase was over, the pandemic hasn’t come to an end, noting recent spikes in cases in Southeast Asia and the Middle East. The U.N. health agency says that thousands of people are still dying from the virus every week.

“It’s with great hope that I declare COVID-19 over as a global health emergency,” WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus said.

Did you know that he is not a doctor, and was formerly a member of a communist terrorist organization in Ethiopia? Kinda funny.

“That does not mean COVID-19 is over as a global health threat,” he said, adding he wouldn’t hesitate to reconvene experts to reassess the situation should COVID-19 “put our world in peril.”

Tedros said the pandemic had been on a downward trend for more than a year, acknowledging that most countries have already returned to life before COVID-19. He bemoaned the damage that COVID-19 had done to the global community, saying the virus had shattered businesses and plunged millions into poverty.

The virus didn’t do that.

Decisions by governments did that.

The virus, frankly, did not exist. They just renamed the flu.

“COVID has changed our world and it has changed us,” he said, warning that the risk of new variants still remained.

When the U.N. health agency first declared the coronavirus to be an international crisis on Jan. 30, 2020, it hadn’t yet been named COVID-19 and there were no major outbreaks beyond China.

More than three years later, the virus has caused an estimated 764 million cases globally and about 5 billion people have received at least one dose of vaccine.

Meanwhile, though the Covid pandemic is over this week, cases of died suddenly are ongoing, and we’ve now entered the age of turbo cancer.

Turbo cancer should be an official medical term.

“My friend passed away last week. Turbo cancer.”

I also want to see eulogies read that contain the term “turbo cancer.”

Really, I would just like this term to be used everywhere as much as possible.

Also: vaxies can choke on it.

Those people made a decision, which was a very bad decision, a decision which ruined all of our lives (if there was no compliance they couldn’t have tried to force compliance), and now they can eat turbo cancer.

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