Cruise Ship Labeled a “Monstrosity” (I’m Gonna Have to Take the Counter Position Here)

I’ve previously attacked cruise ships as the peak of American decadence and depravity of the human soul.

Now, New York Post is taking this same position on a new beast:

The world’s largest cruise ship, which is set to launch in January, has been labeled a “monstrosity,” with critics comparing it to having the same buzz as the Titanic did on its maiden voyage.

Known as Icon of the Seas under Royal Caribbean International, this new ship is five times larger than the Titanic with an internal volume of 250,800 gigatonnes (GT) compared to 46,328 GT.

Online critics have been quick to point out how the ship, over-the-top in nature, doesn’t mean bigger is better.

“As visions of hell go, that’s pretty much the most hellish,” one person tweeted in response to a photo of the new cruise ship, while another said, “I’m sorry but this is a nightmare.”

“Every time I see a picture of the Icon of the Seas cruise ship I am filled with an intense dread,” another wrote.

“For a second I was like ‘No, the Icon of the Seas is not real, it can’t hurt you because some wacky giant cruise ship seasteading scheme goes viral every 10 months.’ But I looked it up and it turns out they actually built this one,” another person tweeted.

For the company, however, this takes travel to a new level.

“We are positioning it as the ultimate family vacation and when you step back and look at all the energy and time that has gone into creating this ship it is mind-blowing,” Royal Caribbean International president and chief executive Michael Bayley said in a statement.

I’m going to have to take the opposite position here, purely for the sake of being contrarian.

This looks like a blast to me.

It’s like the vacation equivalent of a Katy Perry song, no?

I mean – what’s not to like?

Of course faggots are going to complain about people trying to have fun.

Whiny people are a buzzkill.

Don’t let them spoil your good time.

You only live once, and you might as well live it up.

(Seriously though: don’t go on this ship. If you don’t want to deal with the blacks in Italy, Greece, or Spain, just go to Mexico or Thailand or something. Frankly, Cuba is a great option if you can get there legally. If I was going to really keep it real, I would tell you to go to the Grand Canyon or Vermont.)

But seriously: what happened to the plan for a libertarian sea-steading project where you can manufacture cocaine and shoot RPGs at each other while your child bride waves your swastika flag?