Massachusetts: Children’s Playground Slides Doused with Acid

You can’t build a utopia without burning a few kids with acid on the playground.

It’s very normal.

AP:

Two children suffered what were described as “burn-like injuries” after playing on slides that had been doused with acid at a Massachusetts park, authorities said.

Police and firefighters responded to Bliss Park in Longmeadow on Sunday morning for a report of a suspicious substance on the playground equipment, the fire department posted on social media.

At about the same time, firefighters and emergency medical technicians went to a home in town for a report of two children with burns who had just left the park.

Authorities determined that someone broke into a storage room where chemicals are kept at the park’s swimming pool and stole some muriatic acid. The acid, which can be used for cleaning or for maintaining a pool’s pH balance, was then poured on three slides, authorities said.

Evidence was gathered and sent to the state crime lab for forensic analysis.

No one has been charged, but authorities said the suspect or suspects may have also been injured.

Everything is very, very normal – the United States simply could not be any more normal.

We’re going to reach the utopia soon.

People pouring acid on children’s slides is just proof that the utopia is near.