Meat Loaf Dead: Rest in Peace, Big Guy

Meat Loaf was an inspiration to some, an icon for others, and a hero to all.

He has just passed away at the age of 74.

I’m not going to blame the vax, because he was really fat and unhealthy, and also I think much too smart to take the vax.

Furthermore, he probably did a fair amount of cocaine.

Plus, I mean – four score in ten is all we were promised, right?

Meat, born Michael Lee Aday, was above and beyond the greatest musician who ever lived. And yes, I include Beethoven, Bach, Mozart and all the rest in that assessment. No one can hold a candle to the raw power of Meat Loaf.

In 1978, Meat Loaf jumped off the stage while performing. He finished the tour in a wheelchair. Mozart never did that.

If Mozart had broken his leg diving off the stage he would have pussied out like a bitch and refused to perform for years.

Meat was like “doc, tape that shit up, I got a show I gotta get to.”

His 1978 performance at Rockpalast was the single greatest live performance of all time.

All three Bat Out of Hell albums are amazing, as are the less popular albums.

His entire discography is a masterpiece of the kind that we will never see around these parts again.

Western civilization peaked with Meat Loaf, and his death is the worst possible omen.

The kids will probably best remember him for “I’d Do Anything for Love.”

It was his most played song, but not his best. The video is great though.

If you’re a low attention span Zoomer and can’t go listen to these entire albums on torrent (he’s dead so yeah it’s definitely not stealing this time) or YouTube (or whatever your service), then here are a few more choice hits.

Paradise by the Dashboard Light is something that any of us who can remember our teenage years remember. Unless you’re a Zoomer I guess.

It’s about a guy trying to get a girl’s clothes off in a car at make out hill.

In the normal universe, that story would end in a pregnancy and a forced marriage that would last until death (because divorce wouldn’t be legal, and you form a bond naturally with a partner you have as a teenager).

The Bat Out of Hell title track is an awesome single as well.

The lyrics are just so good.

This is just the first verse:

The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling
Way down in the valley tonight.
There’s a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
And a blade shining, oh, so bright.
There’s evil in the air and there’s thunder in sky,
And a killer’s on the bloodshot streets.
Oh, and down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising,
Oh, I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter,
He was starting to foam in the heat.

This man was a rock n’ roll machine.

Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad showed just how clever his lyrics could be.

“I want you. I need you. But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you. But two out of three ain’t bad.”

That might be the best chorus of all time.

I don’t talk to women anymore, as a Christian matter, but when I did, there was no statement I said more than that one.

To top off what was already the greatest career of all time, Meat Loaf went on to appear in the greatest film of all time: Fight Club.

If you Zoomers haven’t watched that movie, then you have something seriously wrong with your life.

If you Millennials haven’t watched it yet this year, then you need to get on it.

There is no film that even comes close to Fight Club. It is the perfect film. And it wouldn’t have been the same film without Meat Loaf.

It would not be an overstatement to say that Meat Loaf was the single most important person who ever lived, excluding of course Jesus Christ.

Meat was a Republican and a Trump supporter, and so I very much hope he was also a Christian.

May God have mercy on the soul of a man so great as he.

Rest in peace, big guy.

We will not see the likes of you pass this way again.