Miami: Man Picks Up Repulsive Middle-Aged Hooker, Shocked to Find Himself Looted

What the hell even is this?

This is a guy with $600,000 worth of jewelry just lying around, and he’s bringing home 35-year-old hookers?

In Miami???

New York Post:

A scantily dressed woman took off with more than $600,000 in jewelry — including two Rolex watches — after she allegedly drugged a Miami man she had just met, police said.

After meeting the man at The Dirty Rabbit bar in Wynwood on May 8, the unidentified woman was invited back to his pad around 5:30 a.m., where she drugged his drink, police said.

The suspect’s unidentified date quickly passed out after having one drink with the suspect, who authorities believe is in her mid-30s.

The man called police after he woke up around noon and found his safe open and his jewelry gone — as was the woman.

Among the pricey items she swiped were a Rolex Daytona Rainbow with diamonds and a Sky-Dweller Rolex.

Other high-priced bling she is accused of stealing include a gold chain, Franco Gold bracelets, Cartier sunglasses and a rose gold diamond ring, police said.

Yeah, well, that explains it – the Daytona “Rainbow with diamonds” is an absolute vulgarity and really just vandalism of one of the most beautiful watches ever made.

I’m something of a purist when it comes to Rolex, but you don’t have to be a purist to see that this is an affront to God.

Who is it even for? A homosexual Emirati Sheik? I don’t think that even exists.

The person who would own this is the exact kind of person who would say “I’m a very wealthy man, so I could just call a 19-year-old Instagram model for a visit, but I think I’ll go ahead and head down to the bar and pick up a disease-riddled middle-aged brown woman with gigantic disgusting fake breasts that feel like dodgeballs when you squeeze them.”

(Note: the guy was probably Jewish and just trying to save money.)