Necromancy: The Science Mixing Human Organs with Pig Organs to Raise the Dead

The Science is finally exploring the dark arts of necromancy.

It’s a very important form of magi – of The Science – which is very serious and helpful and has only been maligned as satanic by Chris – by Science-Deniers – who want to hold back progress.

In fact, Necromancy, or the Science of the Necro, is very sexy.

I hope to some day have pig organs in my body, which will give me the dark powers of Science.

AP:

The ghostly form floating in a large jar had been the robust reddish-brown of a healthy organ just hours before. Now it’s semitranslucent, white tubes like branches on a tree showing through.

This is a pig liver that’s gradually being transformed to look and act like a human one, part of scientists’ long quest to ease the nation’s transplant shortage by bioengineering replacement organs.

The first step for workers in this suburban Minneapolis lab is to shampoo away the pig cells that made the organ do its work, its color gradually fading as the cells dissolve and are flushed out. What’s left is a rubbery scaffolding, a honeycomb structure of the liver, its blood vessels now empty.

Next human liver cells — taken from donated organs unable to be transplanted — will be oozed back inside that shell. Those living cells move into the scaffolding’s nooks and crannies to restart the organ’s functions.

This is why I have “organ donor” on my driver’s license – I hope that some day the essence of my corpse will be fused with pig organs so that my spirit will haunt the living through the dark arts of The Science.

“We essentially regrow the organ,” said Jeff Ross, CEO of Miromatrix. “Our bodies won’t see it as a pig organ anymore.”

“Hey man, I got kids to feed.”

That’s a bold claim. Sometime in 2023, Miromatrix plans first-of-its-kind human testing of a bioengineered organ to start trying to prove it.

If the Food and Drug Administration agrees, the initial experiment will be outside a patient’s body. Researchers would place a pig-turned-humanlike liver next to a hospital bed to temporarily filter the blood of someone whose own liver suddenly failed. And if that novel “liver assist” works, it would be a critical step toward eventually attempting a bioengineered organ transplant — probably a kidney.

People with pig kidneys be like “I am The Science – bow before me, mortal, or taste my wrath!”

It all sounds science fiction-ey but it’s got to start somewhere,” said Dr. Sander Florman, a transplant chief at New York’s Mount Sinai Hospital, one of several hospitals already planning to participate in the liver-assist study. “This is probably more of the near future than xenotransplantation,” or directly implanting animal organs into people.

If this Temple of the Science, with its human organs in jars being liquified and mixed with pig organs, looks like something out of Lovecraft to you, then I’m sorry, but you are a Science denialist and you are now banned from everything.

This is all very, very normal.

If God didn’t want people to mix together the organs of human corpses with pig organs to create a miraculous life extension technology, God wouldn’t have created corpses or pigs.

This is much, much easier than living a healthy lifestyle.

Most of America is obese because they love being very, very fat. We need to allow them the happiness of obesity while also extending their lives beyond what an obese person deserves, and necromancy has many exciting frontiers in the field of eternal life for fat people.