Oxford: Monkey Kills Human After the Human Calls Him a Monkey

You’d have a hard time finding a more traditional English city than Oxford.

Located in the South East of England, Oxford encapsulates the greatness of pre-war England with its architectural splendor, cultural innovation and world-renowned university.

At some point during the 1960s, however, Oxford council workers took a look at their venerable city and decided that it needed more Blacks.

Fast forward to 2017, and Oxford is now packed with colorful gentlemen. And, as we all know, colorful gentlemen produce colorful news reports.

Let’s take a look at this week’s report.

Daily Mail:

A teenager who killed a cyclist with a scissor kick to the head after being called a ‘monkey’ and a ‘n****r’ has been jailed for four years.

Imran St Clair and a group of his friends crossed paths with 56-year-old Eamonn Anderson and his dog, Charlie, who he was walking on a lead while riding his bike.

The 18-year-old kicked the cyclist in the head as he was trying to get onto his mountain bike, causing him to fall and smash his head on the ground.

Doctors placed the injured man in an induced coma but he died two weeks later when his life support machine was switched off.

St Clair, who fled the scene in Oxford on a bus, was jailed for four years after admitting a charge of manslaughter.

Prosecutor Matthew Walsh said St Clair and his friends were running alongside Mr Anderson as he cycled along the road.

‘Something caused Mr Anderson to stop and get off his bike, keeping Charlie on the lead,’ he added.

‘He was still on the lead when Mr Anderson was found lying on the ground.

‘Mr Anderson is not able to give his account. Something caused Mr St Clair to use unlawful violence, the only act of violence was a kick to Mr Anderson’s head. What caused that is a matter of debate.’

Oxford Crown Court heard St Clair told police that Mr Anderson was racist towards him and Mr Walsh admitted that may have caused him to lose his temper.

The White man that died…

… And the chimp that got a mere four years for killing him (notice the Koran in his hand).

So, there’s no evidence that Anderson called St Clair racist names, and if he did, there would be a good reason for it. As much as I wish that Britons constantly called Blacks “niggers” and “monkeys” to their faces due to pure skin-hatred, it doesn’t really happen outside of Wales.

Unfortunately, since Anderson died from the attack, we’ll never know what the chimp did to spark his wrath.

Incidentally, what sort of name is Imran St Clair? If I were to receive a visit from a “Mr. St Clair” from Oxford, I’d expect him to be a cane-twirling Englishman with an upper class accent, not a prehistoric ape whose forehead is three inches high.

Just look at him. You could use that brow as a coat hanger.

The notion of an African knuckle-dragging its way through Oxford is ridiculous in general, to be honest.

Hey – maybe that’s what happened to Mr. Anderson!

He saw the 60 IQ African shuffling past The Eagle and Child (the pub where JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis and the other Inklings discussed their latest writings) and burst into uncontrollable laughter at the absurdity of it all, triggering the chimpout that killed him!

I think I might have solved the mystery, guys.