Pope Anus Welcomes People of Anus Into the Catholic Church

What is the plan here, people?

The Pope has gone full anal.

He’s not even being vague about it anymore.


Pope Francis said on Sunday that the Catholic Church is open to everyone, including the gay community, and that it has a duty to accompany them on a personal path of spirituality but within the framework of its rules.

One reporter reminded him that during the trip, he said the Church was open to “everyone, everyone, everyone” and asked if it was not incoherent that some, such as women and gay people, did not have the same rights and could not receive some sacraments.

This was an apparent reference to women not being allowed to become priests through the sacrament of Holy Orders and same-sex couples not allowed to contract marriage, which is also a sacrament.

“The Church is open to everyone but there are laws that regulate life inside the church,” he said.

He adds this as an “I’m sorry” part of his invitation to do gay anal at the church.

“According to the legislation, they cannot partake in (some) sacraments. This does not mean that it is closed. Each person encounters God in their own way inside the Church,” he said.

He said ministers in the Church had to accompany all people, including those not conforming to the rules, with the patience and love of a mother.

The Church teaches that women cannot become priests because Jesus chose only men as his apostles.

The Church does not allow same-sex marriage or even blessings for same-sex couples, but Francis supports civil legislation that gives same-sex couples rights in areas such as pensions, health insurance and inheritance.

It teaches that same-sex attraction is not sinful but same-sex acts are.

Since the start of his papacy, Francis has been trying to make the Church more welcoming and less condemning, including to members of the LGBT community, but without changing teachings that urge those with same-sex attraction to be chaste.

Francis has pushed a series of reforms since he became pope 10 years ago, including giving more roles to women, particularly in high-ranking Vatican positions, but faces a delicate balance between appealing to more liberal believers and upsetting conservatives.

He’s pushed for literally every bad thing within and out of the Church.

Along with pushing for every Jewish agenda inside the Church, he’s demanded Europe be flooded with Islamic terrorists.

He’s said he wants women in control of everything.

What are people supposed to do?

He is officially the Pope.

How do you fix this problem?