Regarding the Sexual Impulse and Its Consequences

The Illness Revelations address the nature of man and his quest, and therefore we must address the matter of the male sexual drive, as this is core to the being of a man.

I saw this just now on Google News:

There was that tiny blurry little thumbnail there, and my brain immediately said “man, I’d like to fuck her.”

You can’t even see what the girl looks like there. I think the reaction was because one of the first images of a naked woman I saw (other than in Holocaust class) was of a Japanese girl in that pose.

When I enlarged it… not so much.

It’s perfectly natural to be triggered by something like this. It’s unfortunate that I saw pictures of naked women on the internet when I was a kid, of course, but it is what it is. And if it wasn’t that, it would be something else.

Everyone is being really open about their foot fetishes these days, and that seems to be related to seeing women in an intimate setting. When you think about school and so on in Western society, women are usually wearing shoes, right? So if you see one without shoes, it’s probably in some situation where your brain is saying “NOW – GRAB HER NOW NOW NOW.”

So there are always going to be triggers in the brain, usually associated with early sexual feelings when you’re whatever age. I’ve said before that furries had early sexual feelings towards Disney characters that were sexualized.

The most obvious, from when I was a kid, was a character in “A Goofy Movie”:

Of course, I was exposed to that and didn’t become a furry, so you have to be deviant in some way, probably.

It’s the same story with homosexuals. Every homosexual – or 99.9999% of them – was molested as a young boy (usually repeatedly), and their brain started associating sexuality with men.

It’s pretty simple and straightforward.

What I wanted to talk about is the male sexual urge, and the way our current society treats it, and the better way to think about it.

What we have now is both a mix of the enforcement of shame over natural urges and a system that tells us to “embrace” unrestrained sexual decadence. They tell you it’s wrong to “objectify” women but also tell you masturbation is “healthy.” So it’s literally the inverse of what it should be.

Assuming we have natural testosterone levels, we all have “dirty minds.” I’m of course approaching this topic from a Christian perspective (while also being blunt – bluntness is not a sin), and I must say that I’m not educated enough in the topic to tell you a definition of “lust,” but I can say that the immediate “I want to fuck her” reaction is not a sin. That is literally a biological reflex. People who claim they don’t have that are people you should be very suspicious of, because either they are lying or they have something wrong with them.

The immediate sexual impulse when met with a woman, or an image of a woman, who is in a state of undress or partial undress (as is the case with most all women in the summertime in the West) cannot be a sin because it is involuntary, and by definition, sin must be voluntary. I know enough about Christianity to know that much.

That said, the ideal situation is to not have women exposed in public at all. People think I’m joking when I call for “Taliban style restrictions.”

I’m actually not joking.

It’s the ideal situation. It would be much better if we were not required by society to interact with women at all, beyond our immediate relatives.

I remember in the old days, when there were still boomers in the internet far-right (I think they all died from erections that lasted for more than six hours), people used to claim that “that’s not our way – the white man respects women!” This is a version of the Republican line “conservatives protect gays from Islamic terrorists” or “we stand for women’s sports against trannies.” (They say both those things – protecting gays from Moslems while also protecting women from gays.) The idea is that the right exists to defend leftist policies from a few years ago from the current policies of the left. Traditionally, the right did not support feminism or homosexuality, so it wasn’t trying to protect those things.

Traditionally, women in Western society covered their bodies from their wrists to their ankles to the nape of their neck, and they covered their hair (though the shaw/scarf has been out of fashion for a while in the West, as recently as the early or even mid 20th century, it was considered appropriate for a woman to wear a bonnet or a hat to cover her hair).

(Nb4: “well, there were periods in the Victorian era…” – yeah, okay, but these are the courtesan clothing you’re seeing, not the average woman’s wear.)

Covering the face with the full niqab is slightly more extreme, obviously. But we should view this as a brilliant innovation. Why should we have to see their faces?

Of course, before modern makeup, women’s faces looked like smashed-up dogshit, like that of a creature from a horror film, and the only thing that was attractive was the succulent flesh.

(Please take note that you do not need to paint up a shapely butt or breasts to make them visually stimulating.)

I’ve done “before and after” makeup collections many times. You can look it up yourself. Women are not “pretty,” unless maybe they’re under the age of [REDACTED].

What Western society does is create a state of constant sexual agitation.

However, a part of the revelation was that our lives are not actually worse than the average throughout history, and I can say a couple things about this:

  • We are desensitized. Not long ago, I heard Catholic thinker E. Michael Jones say that he thinks desensitization is a way to protect us from an oversexualized society, and as soon as I heard it I immediately realized it was true.
  • Modern women are repulsive. In America, where women dress the sluttiest, they are almost universally physically repulsive. You also know that if you talked to them, they would be psychically repulsive. So there gets to be a point where you just start blocking them out.

So it’s not really that bad. You just need to control yourself.

Shame and Chronic Masturbation?

I’m not sure about the situation among young men now. When I was a teenager, you could still talk with other men in a very vulgar way about women, but it was the beginning of this “women are not objects” and “men should respect women” gibberish. There was also an incoming idea that men could “take advantage” of women, which is also a lie.

In terms of the morality of speaking in a vulgar way, I suppose it would not have happened in the Garden of Eden, but I’m not sure if teenagers or young men (or men of any age who have had a few drinks) doing that is something that is a big deal. But hey – I’m not a priest. What I will say: the attempts to prevent men from doing this are much more damaging than men doing this.

Should you be ashamed when a girl in a short skirt walks by flaunting everything and you think “I’d like to bend her over”? No. Should you be ashamed of whispering it to your buddy? I’m thinking no.

This is from the Catholic Encyclopedia:

Lust, the inordinate craving for, or indulgence of, the carnal pleasure which is experienced in the human organs of generation. The wrongfulness of lust is reducible to this: that venereal satisfaction is sought for either outside of wedlock or, at any rate, in a manner which is contrary to the laws that govern marital intercourse. Every such criminal indulgence is a mortal sin, provided, of course, it be voluntary in itself and fully deliberate. This is the testimony of St. Paul in the Epistle to the Galatians, v, 19: “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are fornication, uncleanness, immodesty, luxury,… Of the which I foretell you, as I have foretold to you, that they who do such things shall not obtain the kingdom of God.”

I think it’s safe to say Paul never turned to Peter and whispered “I’d like to bend that bitch over.” I’m not going to sit here and argue that this sort of talk with men is ideal Christian conversation.


If she’s in a short skirt, the craving is not voluntary or deliberate, it’s being forced on you against your will. You didn’t choose her clothes for her. In saying it to your friend, are you engaging in “inordinate craving”? I don’t think so. I think you’re acknowledging that you’re both experiencing the same biological reaction, and in some way, you’re acknowledging or even managing a temptation.

Now, if you study her so you can go home and masturbate thinking about her, then you’ve committed a sin.

But of course: according to the entire global Jewish establishment, masturbation is good now. That’s another thing that was brought in when I was a kid. I was told “there’s nothing wrong with masturbation.” There is, of course, something wrong with masturbation: it’s a mortal sin, and like all mortal sins, it has real world consequences. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all done it, and if you’re a teenager reading this, you might be nodding along to everything I’m saying here and then close the tab and open a porn site.

The reason people have become such chronic wankers is that wanking has been encouraged to kids, and totally destigmatized. They used to tell boys it would make them blind. I think it’s a good idea to tell your sons this. Blindness from masturbation is sort of like Santa Claus for teenage boys.

That’s not a very good analogy.


No man should be ashamed of his sexual urges, assuming they are normal. (If they are abnormal, and you’re a furry or a faggot or some third thing, you should be ashamed and you should go to the priest about this issue.)

These drives are natural. We all have them. This idea that you should “respect women” and “not objectify women” is retarded, and the only proof you need that this is retarded is that the same people telling you this are telling you to masturbate to pornography. Like most things in this society, it is absurd and stupid on its face.

Therefore, the issue is what we do with these urges. The answer is the same as with everything else: you recognize that you are imperfect, but you strive to do the Christian thing. You do your best not to let the natural urges lead to sin, whether it be masturbation or fornication.

When it comes to these things, there are two separate things:

  • Don’t be too hard on yourself, and
  • Don’t just give up

These are both true.

If you have a masturbation habit, and something close to 99% of Western men have, you should not wallow in guilt over it. At the same time, you also shouldn’t ever stop trying to overcome the temptation and make yourself better.

If you stop masturbating, you will feel better, in every way.

And if you’re one of the small percentage of men who still has casual sex, you know that this doesn’t ever feel like you think it will.

Masturbation is much different than actual sex.

Masturbation is almost always chronic, and it is not really even about sex, so much as it is about dopamine release. A lack of dopamine can easily be solved with alcohol. (Joking/not joking.)

Part of the modern thing, this Jewish experiment that we are all involved in, is that a man’s masculinity has been defined by his sexual access. This is a feminist thing. If a man’s masculinity is defined by his sexual access, then his masculinity is defined by women’s approval. (Do you see how that one works?)

Most modern men feel that they need to have casual sex with women to prove their masculinity. Conversely, all things being equal, if they were given a clear choice, they would prefer a Taliban system where women are not involved in public society at all and your masculinity is defined by hard shit.

That’s a photo of men who live in caves taken hours after they officially won a 20-year war with the biggest military that ever existed in human history by forcing an unconditional surrender. Look at how calm they all are. That is the image you should always show any boy who wonders what it is like to be a man. Those are men. We don’t have men in our societies anymore. We have a lot of grown up little boys who think that their identity as a man is defined by women’s approval.

The singer from the indie/folk/emo band Bright Eyes, Conor Oberst, is drinking himself to death right now. I’ve watched a couple of the shows he’s done over the course of the last year, and it’s very clear what’s happening. He’s ballooned up to twice the size he was a couple years ago, he is getting on stage slurring and falling down, unable to play the songs, making statements about how he’ll be dead soon and so on. I’m sure some readers have strong opinions on the “scene” surrounding his music, but I always found the lyrics interesting. I used to listen to all kinds of music, but I stopped listening to sad music. I would still check new music from sad bands, but I haven’t even done that in years. I came across this middle age doom thing by accident. Anyway, this “millennials hit middle age” phenomenon is interesting to me on several levels, and he was an icon of fashionable millennial culture, so there are a lot of things I want to say about this situation, hopefully this week.

I saw him a couple times when I was a teenager, and there were bitches at these concerts. Like, this guy was a bitch magnet. He could, every night, or multiple times per day, have sex with a new 10/10 chick, if he wanted to. Anyway, when preparing for my article on his middle age doom and impending death, I found this lyric from a relatively recent album:

Heard the cavalry cry of my girl for the night when I entered her
Sounded so fake, always feels fake, finishes and then it feels worse

That’s the view of someone who has full access to sex. The total lack of access has created a sexual mystique for some men which should be squashed.

Although I am not a rock star, this has been my experience with casual sex. In fact, it’s been my experience with all sex.

This obsession with sex is a pathology and a social derangement.

We have the urge because it is necessary for reproduction. The act is disgusting, and it makes you feel like shit. The actual release of the semen, however it is released, drains your body of testosterone. Therefore, in order to force people to engage in the act, and continue the species, the drive for it has to be an overwhelming biological urge.

The suppression of the sexual desire and, if you live in a society, the suppression of public sexuality in all its forms, is, in fact, the masculine fantasy. The masculine fantasy is not orgies. This obsession modern men have with sex is literally “homosexuality but with women.” Homosexuals think about sex all the time, and devote their lives to sex. It’s almost incidental that it’s with men. Most of the Roman emperors who were fags (the last six of them were fags) started out with women, and got into men just because the sex was getting so insane, they were doing orgies and bringing in little boys.

I will tell you something: I’ve lived in Thailand, where the ladyboys are a socially acceptable part of the red light district and were so long before the West had trannies, and the white men who get deep into this sex stuff always end up with trannies. To be fair, those men are also always on steroids, which may be the actual cause, but the cause of taking steroids is some kind of pathological, sexualized insecurity. There’s no other reason you would subject your body to that (unless you played professional sports, obviously, but sportsmen don’t use the drugs for “bodybuilding”).

Ultimately, the conclusion we must reach is that sex is for reproduction just as food is for sustenance. It shouldn’t be engaged in beyond its purpose.

Food, however, can be dressed up and enjoyed. You can eat foods for reasons other than sustenance.

I’ve concluded – and you will too, if you want the truth, and you go all the way to it – that sex should have no purpose other than reproduction. I don’t think it should ever go beyond that. If you eat McDonald’s once a month, you’re not on your way to obesity. If you start doing blowjobs, how far are you from being gay, really?

Protestants went to the Song of Solomon and started talking about how married couples should have “healthy sex lives.” Is this true? Is it possible?

Does it increase “love”? Or does it create loathing when you find that actually, you’re not going to be in your thirties having some exciting sexual experience with a woman you’ve lived with for years?

We can consider it, I suppose. But the answer is “no.” I would never ask my wife to give me a blowjob, I would never do “roleplaying,” I would never do the open mouth kissing, or any of these vulgar actions you would do with a prostitute with my wife.

(The media has hyped up the “missionary position,” but the point of that was that it was supposedly most likely to result in pregnancy, which is untrue: “from behind” is the best way to ensure pregnancy. Having considered it, I believe that from behind is the appropriate position, as it minimizes the forced “romance” of the act, because you’re not looking at each other, not mouth-kissing. Also, part of the thinking is that before the advent of the padded mattress, there was no other way to manage the positioning of the body. However, I am probably not prepared to declare a fatwa on this matter.)

Sexuality should be minimized, and reduced to the reproductive act. This is what we have found.

To Clarify: Yes, Sex is Fun

Everything above is 100% true, but I feel I need to add that of course sex is pleasurable and can be very fun. I don’t think it’s as fun as certain video games, it’s not as intense as the experiences I’ve had rock climbing or diving off cliffs into the ocean, or riding motorcycles, or riding jet skis under semi-dangerous conditions, or various other exciting activities that are not sins.

No sexual act has ever been as fun as the times I had at Cedar Point Theme Park as a kid.

Really, there are a whole lot of things that I did as a kid that were a lot more fun than any sex I’ve ever had, and I think there is an important point there: “fun” is generally something for kids. We have this Bible verse:

Sex in its different forms is like a “childish thing” for adults. It’s about fun and excitement, and as an adult (at least as a man), these concepts become less important, and you start to find meaning in work and responsibility, in building things.

The other thing to consider is that attachment to pleasure makes you weak. The (red) Indians, who didn’t have any material attachment and fought wars purely based on honor, had a slogan: “today is a good day to die.” The idea there is that life is not about pleasure, it’s not about the material, it’s not about avoiding death. Anyone who thinks about sex all the time is afraid of death. There is a 100% overlap between those two states.

I wrote the above about the guilt surrounding sex, and the feeling after ejaculation where most likely you’re going to be looking at this woman like “what a repulsive creature this is.” But I don’t want to give the impression I’m saying “sex isn’t fun and exciting,” because that would just be ridiculous and a lie.

I will say that it is definitely not as fun as you think it would be if you’ve never done it. There is a big difference between the urge and the act. We all know what it feels like to really want a steak. It can be a strong feeling, but it’s not strong like horniness. And yet, when you eat the steak, it tastes great and you feel great and satisfied, proportional to the urge you had to have a steak. With sex, there is this wild gap between the urge and the actual enjoyment of the act. (You also don’t have a horrible comedown and sense of self-loathing after eating a steak.)

The other thing we must consider: shooting fentanyl has gotta be pretty fun. I’ve never done it, but you look at people who do it, see the way their eyes roll back and their heads bob when it hits, and you’re like “man, that must feel great.” So just because something feels good doesn’t mean you should do it.

Remember, that was the boomer mantra: “if it feels good, do it.”

It’s a path to do the absolute maximum damage to yourself, everyone around you, and to society.

Men should have self-control.

I’m just going to say it again: this is what men look like:

You’re never going to be that hard. You’re never going to have that calm, that self-restraint, that sense of determined purpose. You’re too broken by this society that you were born into to ever really totally fix yourself.

But fixing yourself should always be the goal, and you certainly have the ability to make yourself a better man by denying your most base biological urges.

What Have We Learned Today?

A lot has been spewed up here. [Ejaculated? No, no. That’s too much. -Editor]

We should probably do a summary:

  • The modern (Jewish) system teaches shame over the sexual urge while encouraging indulgence in the act
  • The reverse is what we should be aiming for – the urge is biological, the act is a choice
  • You have these urges, and they are triggered by the sexuality present in the culture, and there is no shame there
  • Unless it is reproductive, the act has no benefit, and a lot of harm, even if you are not coming from a Christian perspective
  • Do not wallow in guilt, but always do your best
  • Don’t do blowjobs with your wife, man. It’s weird. Don’t do that. Even if she was a whore when you married her, you married her in a church, and doing blowjobs with the mother of your children is gross.

I think we’ve learned a lot here, quite frankly.

Endnotes (Do Not Read – Not Funny or Interesting – Please Remove From Future Publication):

However, this is a framework for future articles, which I have notes on. I have so many notes. During that post-illness period, I typed about 300,000 words (for reference, the King James Bible has 783,137 words). Most of it obviously remains unpublished. I have become accustomed to the new situation and the cognitive changes that the illness caused, and am not feeling the same level of ultimate inspiration, but now these materials must be organized, filtered, and published as cohesive bites.

I just want to be clear: I’m the fastest typer. Nobody types as fast as I do. I understand that there are a lot of ideas here, and that they are presented in a manner that is not very orderly. To be clear, yes, I do have the ability to order my writing. You can find a lot of examples of it on the site. But the above “essay” (or screed or tract or whatever you want to call it) is 4,000 words long and I pounded it out in under 90 minutes. No one does this. No one can do this. Editing it into a normal essay would take more or less an entire day. Well, if I could actually just restructure all this information, it would only take maybe 3 hours, but my perfectionism would kick in and the length would extend by probably half. There are enough ideas touched on here that it could become a full 60,000-page pop nonfiction book. But you got all the ideas quickly, in a fun format, and I saved time.

I have a desire to write a book, which will have a much more structured style, but although I have probably enough of the essays I’ve written in a structured format sitting around, editing it and putting it together would require devoted focus for at least a week, and it just hasn’t happened. I also think a lot fewer people would read it, just that it would be a different audience. I would like to reach different audiences. You know, that’s what I was trying to do by cutting out the vulgarity for a bit there. And it worked. But I also got bored, and it seemed like I was having fewer new teenagers coming in without the edge.

We’re in totally new territory here, in terms of the medium, and saying “I want to write a book” feels a bit like if a Russian general in the Donbass started handing out swords.