Russian City Faces Outbreak of Snow Penises

I think we need to inquire as to the Vice Mayor of Ekaterinburg’s relationship with his wife. Who is wearing the pants there, Vice Mayor?

The reasonable thing for a masculine male leader to do in the case of an outbreak of snow penises is to endorse it and declare it a city tradition, and use it to drive tourism.


Officials in the Russian city of Ekaterinburg have called on the police to investigate a series of penis-shaped snow sculptures that keep cropping up across the city. Vice-Mayor Alexey Bubnov has instructed the public to smash the offensive organs on sight.

The first winter snow in the Urals last month brought some unusual snowballs to the streets of Ekaterinburg. A towering snow-penis – complete with anatomically-correct veins –  appeared in a park outside the city’s opera house, where it stood proud for an entire day before municipal workers toppled it with a front loader and broke it apart with shovels.

Cocky copycats soon erected similar works of art in parks across the city, with one culprit sculpting a short yet sturdy member on the hood of a parked car.

“Law enforcement probably needs to get to work,” Vice-Mayor Alexey Bubnov told local news outlet It’s My City on Friday. “If they insult someone, it’s probably an administrative offense. Involve law enforcement and demolish it. This is a provocation, and we need to fight these people.”

I understand it’s a bit vulgar, and there are children and women, and whatever. But it is also too funny to stop.

Regardless of any other considerations, it is too funny to stop and should not ever be stopped.