South Carolina: F-35 Crashes, Vanishes Into the Ether

The most advanced vehicle ever created by humankind.

Serious country, by the way.

Greatest military ever, run by very adult-like individuals.


Military officials are working in coordination with the Federal Aviation Administration after an F-35 went missing following a “mishap” near North Charleston on Sunday, September 17.

“Based on the jet’s last-known position and in coordination with the FAA, we are focusing our attention north of JB Charleston, around Lake Moultrie and Lake Marion,” Joint Base Charleston said via X, formerly known as Twitter.

According to Joint Base Charleston, the aircraft is a F-35B Lighting II jet from Marine Attack Training Squadron (VMFAT). It was stationed at Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort. Both bases are working together to locate the aircraft.

The pilot ejected safely and was transported to a local medical center in stable condition, according to Joint Base Charleston.

I guess I can understand that jets crash sometimes. Particularly pieces of shit like F-35s.

But how do you lose the plane? Like, did it go into a portal?

Did it disappear… into the mystic?

Isn’t there like… a tracking device on the aircraft?

But it is a stealth jet so… you know, maybe this really proves that this feature is very good?

I haven’t seen statistics, but these events seem to be happening more and more often. I assume part of that is simply that they are doing more training as they prepare to escalate wars all over the world. But it seems to be somewhat out of control.

Again: how do you lose it?

To be fair – I always try to be fair – the Russians crashed an SU-24 during a training mission last week. So, you know – it happens.

But ahhh… it’s not exactly the same thing.

You know:

The SU-24 is a plane designed in the 1960s that ceased production in 1993. The F-35 is an $80 million beast that was supposed to be the most sophisticated aircraft ever built.

Possibly the most notable difference, however: the Russians crashed a jet, but they knew where it was. It didn’t disappear into a wormhole.

Anyway, at least Lockheed Martin is succeeding in what really matters.

A lot of companies talk about diversity being our greatest strength, but Lockheed makes it into action. That’s why they’re so successful at building planes.

They’re the number two company in America for female engineers (totally unrelated to the problems with the F-35, by the way – it’s pure sexist hatred to suggest there is any relationship there).

And also, 10% of their leadership staff are in wheelchairs!

Wait, wtf?

How is that possible? 

Anyway, I think if we can get that “leaders in wheelchairs” number up to 60-70%, these planes will stop crashing.