September 20, 2019
I’m tired of old people living it up and having a good time.
It’s a weird state of affairs when you’ve got the old acting like degenerate hedonists and the young left to wallow in poverty and despair.
Boomers act like it’s weird that Millennials and Zoomers aren’t having just as much fun as they are and constantly seek to remind them of this. “Back in my day, we were partying all the time and we didn’t really worry about work,” is a popular phrase I seem to hear a lot. They really seem to think that the whole world should be having a big party at any given time.
But the party’s over. They’re the only ones who don’t seem to realize it.
The average Brit rates their happiness level at just over six out of 10 blaming work, family and social pressures for having no ‘me time’.
A study of 2,000 adults found a quarter claim to be too busy to enjoy themselves as much as they would like.
As a result, those aged over 55 – as you approach retirement and find yourself with more free time – scored themselves the highest at 6.9.
But 25-34-year-olds are the least happy of all Brits, averaging just 5.9 out of 10.
You Boomers better do something about this situation and stop hogging all the money, and rubbing it in the faces of the peasants. Eventually, a Millennial Mutant Army of zombies will come after you and gnaw your limbs off. Your guns won’t save you, because the federal gubmint will pass a new law to take away your guns.
ALL OF YOU will hand your firearms over, meekly and quietly, because you’re too soft, too flabby and have too much to lose to go down in a firefight with the ATF.
Either we come to an agreement now, or we let the mutants eat you.
It also emerged over 55s do things that they genuinely enjoy more often than any other age group.
One in four over 55s experience at least 13 enjoyable things a month, compared to just one in 10 of those aged 25-34.
The study was commissioned by Galaxy Chocolate, which wants to empower the next generation to choose more pleasure than the last, with their ‘Choose Pleasure mission’.
Jo Hemmings, a behavioral psychologist working with Galaxy, said: “It is clear to see that some younger generations are finding it harder to find pleasure in their daily lives.
“As we get older and wiser, the realisation that life is too short to worry so much means more are saying “carpe diem” to life.
“It’s a common phenomenon that you start to care less about what other people think as you age, which clearly leads to a happier lifestyle.”
That ain’t it. Boomers are just hopeless, naive and clueless. Like overgrown toddlers. But they need to start handing over the money that they stole quick, lemme tell you.
The horde is coming for them!
And I’m going to be leading it!