What Would It be Like If Adults Ran the US Government?

This is an interview with Sergei Lavrov, Russia’s top diplomat. He talks about nuclear war. I don’t totally agree with him about nuclear war, because I am pro-nuclear war. But after watching American politicians, and then watching this guy, he almost seems like he’s a member of some super-intelligent alien race.

The way he is well-composed, speaks directly and frankly, and the way he talks about serious issues in a serious manner, is not in fact a marker of an alien species. It is something that we used to have in America in ye olden times. It was called “being a grown adult.”

Watch the video.

Then remember: the US counterpart to this man is the awkward Jew Antony Blinken. He makes weird and uncomfortable facial expressions, and talks like a person who both has autism and is stupid (really bad combo).

He wanted to be a rock star before he got stuck with being US Secretary of State.

When he’s in meetings with foreign diplomats lecturing them about how they should have anal sex with men (he literally does this, according to him), he’s thinking to himself: “I could have been the next David Lee Roth or Gene Simmons (née Chaim Witz of Israel). What am I doing in this room, telling this Islamic man to do anal with men? I should be in my tour bus, having anal sex with women.”

In his first major public appearance, he got dressed down and basically just frontally assaulted by an adult diplomat from China and he started stuttering and said “I’m hearing America is back.”

That’s a slogan. The Chinaman was like “who the hell do you people think you are that you can just go around the world telling people what to do and threatening everyone?” and he says “[INSERT SLOGAN].”

When that meeting happened and I saw that video, I realized no one was running the Biden Administration other than ideological millennial interns.

They literally brought some gook slut with blue hair. Just imagine how that looks to the Chinese. I can’t tell if the bitch is Chinese or otherwise, but the implication from the US is “we are pro-Asian – just look at this blue-haired gook skank next to me. We taste the rainbow.” Wang’s response is like: *blinks twice* *shakes head in disgust*.

The American government is run by stuttering Jew children, seniles, and women. Yes, they control a massive military and economic machine that was built by generations of American adults before the last adults were forced out of society. But it becomes like that scene in Scarface.

You remember the scene. Where Tony is in the cartel guy’s base in Bolivia, surrounded by a private army, he’s six inches shorter than this guy, and he’s like “make a move.”

I mean, it’s not really like that anymore, because there’s a significant likelihood that the Russian and Chinese militaries combined are peer with US/NATO. But even if that wasn’t the case, these people like Lavrov and Wang would still be like “then you make a move,” and these faggots in charge of America would still show their bellies.

By the way, I guess it’s a cliche, but Scarface really is a totally fantastic movie. I feel like maybe the zoomers haven’t even watched these movies, and think Northman was the first good movie ever made. Basically, every movie that was popular before like, 9/11 happened, was a good movie or at least had positive qualities. Scarface is in some ways the best Oliver Stone movie, even though he didn’t direct it (just wrote it). It’s the same way that Natural Born Killers was the best Quentin Tarantino movie, even though he just wrote it (it was directed by Oliver Stone).

Quentin Tarantino literally can’t read. At least that’s his claim. Has dyslexia he severe. Honestly, Pulp Fiction is super overrated. The best movie Tarantino directed was Jackie Brown, which was based on an Elmore Leonard novel. Elmore Leonard is probably the best pulp fiction writer. However, he was standing on the shoulders of giants. If you’re comparing Leonard to Raymond Chandler or Dashiell Hammett, Leonard seems “better.” But it’s not a fair comparison. Meanwhile, me, weev, and Sam Hyde had to invent quadruple irony ourselves – of course Nick Fuentes does it better than us. But it’s not a fair comparison.

What Leonard innovated was dialogue, which was ripped off by Quentin Tarantino. I don’t mean “he was influenced,” I mean he literally ripped it off. Which is confusing, considering he can’t read, allegedly. I kind of think Quentin Tarantino is lying about not being able to read, and just has ADD and doesn’t really like reading very much. But hey – maybe he listened to Leonard’s books on tape? Or paid someone to read them to him?

Anyway, I’ll give Tarantino a pass because he’s an autistic foot fetishist, which is funny.

He’s a really awkward, funny guy. Frankly, if you wanted some awkward weirdo to be Secretary of State, it would have been funnier if Joe Biden would have appointed Quentin Tarantino.

Instead of lecturing the Saudis about how they need to jam their penises in men’s anuses, he’d lecture them about Jamal Khashoggi and be like “this isn’t dead nigger storage, okay?”

Imagine this guy wrote himself into his own movie yelling “nigger” at Samuel L. Jackson in-between sessions of licking women’s feet while masturbating, and then told people he couldn’t have ripped his entire writing style off of Elmore Leonard because he can’t read.

So based.

But yeah, I mean, I’m not trying to like, totally shit on Tarantino. I just feel like he was part of the problem. This edgy “clever” dialogue was novel when he first did it (it was novel to film, it was ripped off of Elmore Leonard novels), but you can basically draw a line from that to Iron Man trading quips with Samuel L. Jackson in Avengers – in between totally retarded CGI fight scenes instead of foot fetishist pornography.

Obviously, Tarantino is better than the Marvel Universe films, but it’s a formula. It introduced quippy dialogue as a formula that replace themes. Aristophanes had witty dialogue too, it just wasn’t “legit street word,” so Aristophanes had to have themes in his scripts. Any sonovabitch who wants to tell me what the themes of any Tarantino movie is can go ahead and try. It’s all aesthetics, and it’s all just ripped off of other people.

The point is: yeah, obviously Quentin Tarantino would be a better Secretary of State than Antony Blinken. Meetings between him and Lavrov or Wang would be funny and also much more serious.

If adults ran America, America would be so awesome.

Regardless, I can’t keep that 4,000-word nonsense thing I wrote earlier in the top spot, so this is what we’ve got today. I still have to write two more articles. It’s Friday and I just want to order a stuffed-crust pizza, get drunk, get a couple of cheap shots (closed fist) in at the wife and then lose at Gloomhaven. I’m so sick of this job. No, no. I’m not. I love my job. I’m just really bitter that Nick Fuentes is funnier than me. I thought he was my Padawan, but really it’s like the Rule of Two and I’m getting slayed. Me and Sam Hyde should team up and make something funnier than Nick Fuentes. All I can do at this point is try-hard unfunny garbage about beating up women and then losing at Gloomhaven while the bitch is bleeding on the floor, or confusing, schizoid rants. Whatever. At least I’m having a better midlife crisis than Jim Metokur. Yikes. Ralph won, by the way. Not sure if you heard the news, but Ralph won.