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I LOVE TEXAS! pic.twitter.com/EP7P3AvE8L
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 1, 2020
(The clip Trump posted uses a stupid rap song – please play the clip with its proper song.)
I’m surprised Joe Biden actually went to Texas. It doesn’t really make any sense.
The media keeps claiming that Texas is “in play.”
This was some total Road Warrior type crap here.
CNN:
President Donald Trump on Saturday night appeared to embrace the actions of supporters in Texas who surrounded a Joe Biden campaign bus in what a Biden campaign official described as an attempt to slow down the bus and run it off the road.
Trump tweeted a video of the caravan surrounding the Biden bus with the caption, “I LOVE TEXAS!”
Biden spokesman Bill Russo responded to Trump’s tweet by pointing to reports that Trump’s campaign was not prepared to shuttle attendees who had been bused to a rally at a Pennsylvania airport back afterward, leading to a chaotic situation with Trump’s supporters walking across roads to cars parked miles away.
“For the second time in a week your campaign has left your supporters stranded in the cold with no transportation at one of your superspreader rallies,” Russo said on Twitter. “Maybe you should spend more time worried about those buses than ours.”
Serious loser talk there, Bill.
Are you losing, Bill?
Why are you in Texas?
The episode was an ugly closing note to the 2020 presidential campaign, which in Texas has seen record-breaking early vote totals that already exceed the number of total votes cast there in the 2016 election.
The Biden campaign bus was traveling Friday from San Antonio to Austin as part of a push to urge Biden supporters to cast their ballots on the state’s last day of early voting.
According to a source familiar with the incident, the vehicles were a “Trump Train group.” These groups are known in parts of the state and organize events that involve their cars with flags and Trump paraphernalia and drive around to show support for President Donald Trump. The group began yelling profanities and obscenities and then blockaded the entire Biden entourage.
At one point they slowed the tour bus to roughly 20 mph on Interstate 35, the campaign official said. The vehicles slowed down to try to stop the bus in the middle of the highway. The source said there were nearly 100 vehicles around the campaign bus. Biden staffers were rattled by the event, the source said, though no one was hurt.
This reminds us: the worst case scenario is still awesome.
I can see a cinematic film trailer for it playing out in my brain.
[Narrator: In the year 2022, the Democrats have Washington. But Donald Trump has America.]
[Pan out on Punished Trump with an eyepatch speaking from atop his convoy of armored doom trucks]
Trump: “They may have the White House… but we rule the roads!”
[Cut to greasy MAGA Italian yelling at a truck driver]
MAGA Italian: “Listen you fat motherf**ker, your trucks don’t move unless the orange man says they move, do you understand me?”
Truck drive: “You people lost, you don’t have a right to -”
[MAGA Italian smashes fat trucker’s head against the steering wheel]
MAGA Italian: “Get this guy outta here.”
[Cut to line of semi trucks exploding in a chain]
[Cut to CNN broadcast]
Wolf Blitzer: More than a year after the inauguration of Joe Biden, Donald Trump remains a fugitive, believed to be in the rebel state of Texas, which falsely declared independence after the inauguration. Discredited conspiracy theorists continuing to claim the election was stolen, despite the fact that experts confirmed the results…
[Cut to Biden in a wheelchair with an oxygen mask on in the Oval Office, Kamala yelling at staffers as he watches from the corner]
Kamala: “We cannot rule if we cannot move – these are my roads!”
[Cut to Baron Trump in a machine shop talking to a man with a blowtorch whose back is to the camera]
Baron: “He says we’re taking it back. Are you in?”
[Blowtorch works for a few seconds and shuts off, man turns around and pulls up his mask – it’s Mel Gibson]
Mel: “When do we move?”
[Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way” kicks in]
[Cut to men in MAGA hats soldering huge machine guns onto Trump’s MAGA doom trucks]
[Cut to a US military helicopter, over the desert]
Pilot: *Picks up radio* “Washington, we’ve got a problem…”
[As Lindsey drops the first “You can go your own way,” there is a huge pan shot of the doom convoy rolling down the highway, stretching for miles]
[Cut to Trump’s doom cabin, Baron is staring out at the desert with Trump driving]
Trump: *Messes Baron’s hair* “We’re going home.”
[Cut to Kamala in the oval office, staffer holds a phone, distraught]
Staffer: *Puts down phone* “Ma’am, he’s on the move.”
Kamala: “Well f**king stop him!”
[Cut to Jim Mattis on the phone]
Mattis: “Understood. He won’t make it out of Texas.”
[Cut to rockets shooting out of a MAGA truck and blowing up a row of tanks]
Mel: “WOOOOO!”
Lil Wayne: “Yall muffugguhs is crazy.”
[Cut to crowd of MAGA demonstrators outside the White House as Kamala looks out the window and scowls]
Demonstrators [chant]: “We want Trump!”
[Cut to CNN broadcast]
Wolf Blitzer: The Donald Trump terrorist “convoy of doom” attacked the US military today. President Biden has ordered the military to ensure that the uprising is put down with extreme prejudice.”
[Cut to Jim Mattis on the phone in his office]
Mattis: “He’s not going to make it to Virginia!”
*From behind, a handgun is pointed at his head*
Soldier: “Sir, you are being relieved of your command.”
Mattis: “You can’t do this…”
[Door opens – it’s Alex Jones in a Joint Chiefs uniform]
Alex: “We already did.”
Mattis: “Jones! You’re insane…!”
*Mattis is pistol whipped*
[Cut to fleet of F-15s flying above the convoy. Alex Jones is flying point.]
Alex: *On the radio* Did somebody call the cavalry?
[Cut to Trump smiling, driving his big truck]
[Cut to huge pan shot of the convoy, now with many fleets of jets flying over it]
Trump [voiceover]: “From the time of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, we have been a nation of freedom-lovers. And we’ve been willing to fight for that freedom. We will not be denied. Today we reclaim our freedom. Today he seize our destiny. Today we take back our country.”
[Cut to jets making a pass over the White House]
[Cut to explosion near Washington Monument]
[Cut to Alex Jones screaming in the cockpit of a jet]
[Cut to Mel Gibson laughing]
[Cut to a silent black screen]
[Cut to Kamala on the phone]
Kamala: *Long pause* “Hello?”
*Long pause*
Trump’s voice: Kamala…
[Cut to Trump in his doom cabin, on his cellphone]
Trump: You’re fired.
[Cut to rockets from the convoy shooting down a helicopter]
[Cut to crowd of protesters cheering]
[Cut to Alex Jones screaming]
[Cut to random explosions]
[Cut to Trump, surrounded by soldiers, ascending the White House stairs]
