Memetic Monday: Please Read My Things

I wrote like 8,000 words this morning. Some kind of serious shit, in two separate articles (one, two). I would like if people read those. Particularly the second one. It seems important to me right now.

I had a very strange experience with a serious illness of some sort I guess about 11-12 days ago now. I had this splitting headache, and slept significantly, and had a lot of weird dreams which appear to have contained important information.

There is quite a significant possibility that the headaches during my sickness caused serious brain damage, or that I have some kind of brain tumor. Very significant possibility. So, whatever. I’m not claiming to be some kind of mystic. Personally, I am leaning significantly towards the brain tumor theory.

However, that aside, I believe that the work – these two articles – is a fun piece of creative writing. As I say inside of the materials, I do not appreciate my own style, but I think that of the style, this is peak form. Maybe after fulfilling the form, the style can progress in some way. Evolve. Or maybe, it is a static form now, which will be on my back until I die. If that is the case, I do hope the content proves to be worthwhile.

I feel, in many ways, that I have done some very important work, but I also feel that I’ve reached midlife, and my legacy is not what I want it to be. Then, of course, I remind myself that most important writers did their most important work in the second half of their lives, and I’m not really off track. I’ve published important work, though in a bizarre and new form that I invented myself, and, I feel, I have more important work left in me. There is no actual problem, as long as we all agree to dismiss the brutally obvious likelihood of a brain tumor.

I’ll just keep saying: “Haha, no – I’ve got no brain tumor at all, haha. Nope.”

And you’ll keep saying: “Ah-haha, yeah, we know you don’t, champ. We can see from this very reasonable and absolutely non-incoherent, rambling 8,000-word essay you wrote this morning that you have zero brain tumors. Not one.”

Then, everything will be okay.

Basically, what I mean to say to you, dear reader, is very simple: “I’ll light the fire, while you place the flowers in the vase that you bought today.”

We’ll all just refuse to acknowledge the brain tumor, and it will blink out of existence.

Let’s just all be in this moment together, where I have a strange but very special parasocial relationship with millions of people, primarily teenage boys or people who were teenage boys at some point in the last ten years, and we’re all holding virtual hands and laughing at funny cartoon pictures, making bizarre neo-esoterica forced meme theory references to Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young as the world burns down around us.

Brothers in arms, against the universe.

Because it feels like the universe itself is holding eye contact with me for too long, and I am forced to look away and laugh uncomfortably, only to look back up and see that the universe is continuing to hold the stare.

But that is just nonsense.

Here’s the Editor’s Pick of the Week:

Here’s the Runner-Up:

And the collection:

I’m joking, you guys. I’m not really going to do that. I have fresh-ish Jew memes.

Jeez. I’m not that edgy. I would never do something like that. I don’t actually think I have a brain tumor. It’s a joke. I’m just, you know – going through some stuff.

This is my actual Editor’s Pick:

And this one is the Runner-Up (even though it is probably the most important political meme ever, that rat just got me):

Also, by God’s Grace, I found the meme for that 8,000-word article:

I wish I would have seen that this morning before I wrote the thing. Would have saved a lot of time to just post that instead.

Editor’s Note: There is a 100% chance they are successful, by the way. It’s female biology. I guess maybe I’ll write that article for the 9,762nd time tomorrow, to try and cool off between recalling the Illness Revelations.

To be fair to women for the first time ever (today is an occasion all around): there is also a very high success rate of “hot IDF chicks” – propaganda designed to imply that the IDF is partially or even entirely composed of sexy 19-year-old Russian professional models wearing full makeup and hair – resulting in male support for the IDF. Millions of human male brains react to discussion of the IDF by pulling up these images as reference to what it is. Through a subconscious process, the brain signals “those nasty brown men with greasy beards shouldn’t be beating up on those sexy and very hot Russian girls – can you imagine them being raped? We have to protect them from the brown men,” which transmits to the conscious mind as “support the Israel military.” That’s actually the way people’s brains work. “Hot IDF chicks” propaganda likely is responsible for more support for Israel’s military barbarism than Zionist evangelicalism in men under the age of 65.

It’s an incredibly powerful strategy, it’s simply that it was only when the Jews got a country with an army that someone had the nerve to do it. Everyone on the earth, save the Jews, would simply be too embarrassed to purposefully create propaganda intended to imply that their military is composed of sexy, nubile professional models literally flown in from Russia for photoshoots in IDF military uniforms (some of the photos have been confirmed to have been taken in Russia, and virtually none of the girls are actually even Jewish, according to analysis by experts).


Final Post Note of Zero Day Fun Monday

Please read everything I wrote today on October 23, 2023, as the various articles form a literary art tapestry that is meant to be enjoyed by clicking around the website (on a phone or computer).

This is a day we will need to remember. Not every day will have this much energy. I can’t possibly make that kind of promise. I’ve been working for nearly 20 hours straight, because the inspiration arrived, and who am I to deny it? I am simply a man. Or maybe, I am also experiencing some type of religious delusion? Oh but surely, if I was experiencing a religious delusion, I wouldn’t speak of it in such a flippant manner?

…Or would I? 

Find out in the exciting new epoch of Daily Stormer by Andrew Anglin:

“The Illness Revelations”


“The world’s number one informational entertainment site for disaffected teenage boys who are gifted and/or mentally ill and almost certainly have relational difficulties is back with a vengeance, and I am literally your personal friend, because parasocial relationships are real and meaningful personal relationships.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations” 

“I’m never going to explain which parts were a joke, but I expect everyone to figure it out. It’s part of the quest. This whole thing has turned into a personal quest somehow.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations” 

“I am experiencing messianic religious delusions, in real life, and I believe it may be related to a brain tumor like that movie with John Travolta from the 1990s that I don’t remember the name of and don’t feel like Googling right now.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations” 

“My midlife crisis has been seriously complicated by unhinged religious delusions which took place during the exact period of the Hamas invasion of Israel, which may or may not have significance in relation to end times prophecy. I am never going to get a scan to see if I have a brain tumor, so the only way I could ever confirm or deny the theoretical tumor is if I passed out and was taken to the hospital and scanned while unconscious. I have threatened my domestics with with lawsuits if they do this. If I pass out, the domestics are instructed to wake me up with cold water and give me CPR if deemed necessary. This is real, I’m not joking.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations” 

“The Illness Revelations will not replace the news. The Daily Stormer is a news and entertainment website. There’s a reason it’s not called an ‘entertainment and news website.’ Firstly, that just sort of sounds fucked up. The Illness Revelations will flawlessly meld with the news, to the point where no one is capable of understanding what happened. Like, David Blaine type shit.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations”

“Beyond prayer, contemplating your own death is the most important activity you can do with your personal time, and the most meaningful way to channel the overwhelming sense of existential dread that we all deal with every day as a result of the events of Genesis in the Bible. I’m not joking.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations” 

“So-called ‘alcoholism’ is actually a healthy personal life strategy.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations”

“Teenage girls should be forced to marry significantly older men at the time of first menstruation against their will. ‘Against their will’ is actually a misnomer, because consent doesn’t exist. It’s a spook. Who can say what a women wants or doesn’t want? Certainly the woman herself can’t, and someone has to make the decisions about human breeding or we’re going to go extinct.” -Andrew Anglin, Daily Stormer CEO on “The Illness Revelations”