That Guy from Friends (I Forget His Name) Is Finally Dead

Are they sure he wasn’t already dead? Because he looks dead in this picture.

Most of my day is spent sitting around, smoking cigarettes, drinking vodka, and waiting for people I dislike to die.

It’s always a true joy when it happens.

New York Post:

Matthew Perry has died at the age of 54, TMZ has reported.

The beloved “Friends” star was reportedly found dead in the jacuzzi of his home in the ritzy Pacific Palisades neighborhood of Los Angeles just after 4 p.m. on Saturday.

Beloved by whom? 

Law enforcement sources told TMZ that first responders rushed to the address after a call reporting a cardiac arrest. It’s currently unclear who phoned 911.

The sources said no drugs were found at the scene and no foul play is suspected.

In a statement, the Los Angeles Police Department told The Post: “We responded to the 1800 block of Blue Sail Rd for a death investigation on a male 4:10 p.m. this afternoon. He was in his 50s.”

Perry — who was not married and had no children — had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse.

He opened up about his decades-long battle with addiction in a memoir titled “Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing,” which was published last year.

“Addiction” is not real, by the way.

People who claim to have an addiction actually have something called “I Refuse to Get My Shit Together Syndrome.” It’s the syndrome where you refuse to get your shit together, while claiming that you’re not responsible for your own decisions.

It’s just like HIV/AIDS is a hoax and those faggots just have GRIDS.

This nigger must have had a couple mill in the bank from that show, and yet he had floating floors, white walls, abstract art, a large indoor potted plant, and a purple sofa bed made of fuzzy synthetic materials in his home.

He appears to be drinking a large glass of soda pop, like a child

He deserved to die a long time ago.

Actually Relevant

This is actually relevant, though I have a lot more to write today.

Most likely he “relapsed.” He was claiming to be “sober,” and people who claim that always (or virtually always, it’s something like 99% of the time) “relapse.”

AA and other “addiction treatment” centers teach that you have a disease where if you have one drink of alcohol, the disease forces your hands to pour more alcohol into your mouth.

Therefore, if you believe this, because you only have power over the initial drink, if you violate their gay and retarded program of “never have a single drink because then the disease will take control of your hands,” if you ever take one drink, you believe you can’t stop. Because you believe you can’t stop, you don’t stop. Because you believe in “behavior disease,” you are able to surrender control of your own decision-making process to some other voodoo force.

Anyone who knows someone who got into AA knows about this. It needs more words. Examples and analogies and so on. But I don’t have time.

Anyway, he would mix pills – presumably benzos – with the alcohol. Other articles are saying he drowned. Presumably, he “relapsed” and was drinking and pilling heavily (these AA people go heavy on the “relapse” period), and drowned in his jacuzzi.

It’s really hard to drown in a jacuzzi no matter how drunk you are, unless you are also very old or otherwise seriously ill. But if you add benzos, yeah. You can pass out and basically sleep through the drowning, or have so little power in your arms and legs you can’t pull yourself up for air.

Frankly, I think families should start suing AA for killing people. It’s literally a brainwashing cult that teaches you you can’t control your decisions. It’s difficult to imagine anything more destructive. Scientology doesn’t have these results. I don’t think Scientology has killed anyone. AA has killed millions of people.

I can’t even go into what Friends did to society here, even though I’m sure that’s what everyone wants. Or, at least what anyone older than 30 wants. This was a mass phenomenon and actually more destructive than Sex and the City.

We’ll do that another time. Feel free to remind me.