Norway: Government Says Friendly Whale is Actually a Russian Spy

I knew the squirrels were working for the Russians.

That’s straight out of the Kremlin playbook.

I hadn’t expected the whales, however.

New York Post:

Norwegian government officials have warned residents to steer clear of a friendly beluga whale that experts say may be a Russian “spy” swimming along the country’s coastline.

The adorable sea creature, nicknamed Hvaldimir, was first spotted in 2019 wearing a harness branded “St. Petersburg” with mounts for an underwater camera — leading experts to believe he was trained by the Russian Navy.

I did not know you could train a beluga whale and then release it into the wild as a spy.

You learn something new everyday, I guess.

The suspected slippery secret agent popped up again recently in the densely populated area of Inner Oslofjord, where he has been following boats and making a splash with folks on board, the Norwegian Directorate of Fisheries warned Wednesday.

Frank Bakke-Jensen, director of the agency, urged residents  to “avoid contact” with Hvaldimir for the safety of the animal, even though he’s “tame and used to being around people.”

“We especially encourage people in boats to keep a good distance to avoid the whale being injured or, in the worst case, killed by boat traffic,” said Bakke-Jensen.

In recent weeks, the white whale has been foraging for food at farms, “where it has been able to catch fish grazing on surplus feed,” it added.

Hvaldimir — whose cheeky nickname is combo of the Norwegian word for whale and Russian president Vladimir Putin — won’t be captured by officials despite his possible ties to the country.

“We have always communicated that the whale in question is a free-living animal and we see no reason to capture it and put it behind barriers,” Bakke-Jensen said.

His movements will, however, be monitored by marine officials.

Well, that’s more respect than humans are shown in a democracy, if found to be supportive of Russians.

See: Germany: Man Sentenced to 5 Years in Prison for Posting on the Internet in Support of Russia

I would have always thought I am a free-living animal, but you learn as an adult that in a democracy, the government owns you, they can do whatever they want to you.

I would advise Hvaldimir to stay off of social media, and let his position on the Russians and their Special Operation in the Ukraine remain ambiguous if he wants to remain free.

Elvis Dunderhoff contributed to this article.