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@RandPaul put out a wasteful spending #festivus report highlighting $900 billion in waste. Behold, Dr. #Fauci‘s #transgender monkey study.
Some other highlights posted in this thread. pic.twitter.com/NSHQTOLlon
— Steven Middendorp (@smiddendorp22) December 22, 2023
I’m not transphobic, I just think this money should be going to Israel.
(I want to start doing monthly “Breitbart Day” where all my jokes are a parody of Breitbart. People need to understand how ridiculous this Jewish “conservative” narrative is.)
In the most wonderful time of the year for Washington budget hawks, Sen. Rand Paul released his annual airing of spending grievances Friday in honor of the “Seinfeld”-immortalized holiday “Festivus.”
From science experiments on transgender monkeys to $38 million in COVID payments to dead people, Paul’s report detailed what he called “a whopping $9 billion of waste” of taxpayer funds.
The thing is, that all seems irrelevant when put beside the amount of money sent to Israel and the Ukraine.
I kinda like the Seinfeld reference though. (It was a sort of self-deprecating joke about the Jewish refusal to celebrate Christmas. A lot of Larry David’s jokes would have been considered antisemitic if he wasn’t Jewish, as they are basically all making fun of Jews.)
“Last Festivus, we lamented over the national debt reaching an astronomical $30 trillion,” wrote Paul (R-Ky.).
“Shockingly, in one short year, the career politicians and bureaucrats in Washington have managed to approach $34 trillion in debt, without so much as a second thought.”
Paul blasted both political parties for contributing to the shortfall by voting to raise the debt ceiling in late May, “which empowered the government to borrow an unlimited amount of money until 2024.”
Yeah but – tranny monkeys are not the real issue here.
The issue is boomer entitlements (much more so than black entitlements) and wars.
Boomers should pay for their own health care. I pay for my own health care. Boomers should be adults and take responsibility for their own lives. Boomers invented “the government is my mommy” thinking, and now it’s coming home to roost.
“As Congress spends to reward its favored industries and pet projects, the American taxpayers are forced to pay the price through record high inflation and crippling interest rates,” he said in the report.
(Interest rates are a bigger problem than inflation, unless you’re poor. Just feel a need to mention that again. Inflation only hurts poor people who, quite frankly, deserve it. They should stop being poor. This is America. There’s no excuse.)
“The same big spenders teamed up, yet again, to continue sending Americans’ hard-earned money to foreign countries and funding endless wars, all while ignoring our porous southern border.”
“I have a lot of problems with federal spending,” he added, channeling Frank Costanza, “and now it’s time to hear all about them.”
…
Government funding for brutal experiments on primates made multiple pages of this year’s Festivus report.
First, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases spent nearly half a million dollars to forcibly change the gender of male monkeys, according to the report.
“That’s right, the NIAID is using $477,121 of your tax dollars to fund the forced feminization of male rhesus macaques,” Paul said in the report.
“Utilizing taxpayer funds from NIAID, a Florida lab set out to examine what would happen if female hormones were given to male monkeys.”
The reason?
To study whether male monkeys pumped full of female hormones were more susceptible to HIV.
Hmmm…
“The lab worked to make male lab monkeys ‘transgender’ to address ‘social injustices’ suffered by ‘transgender persons’ such as ‘transgender women who were assigned a male set at birth but express their gender along a female spectrum,” the report read.
The problem?
“Critics note that monkeys themselves are not susceptible to HIV, and argue injecting the male monkeys with female hormones is unlikely to yield relevant information or to help humans,” Paul noted.
HIV is fake, by the way. It’s a big hoax to transfer huge money to homo immune system drugs. “Anti-virals” are just designed to boost the T-cell count, because “HIV” simply means “low T-cells.”
In another experiment, the National Institutes of Health spent $171,000 of your money on studying the gambling habits of monkeys — an experiment that began in 2014 but has continued for nearly a decade later.
The experiment involves putting the monkeys through three sets of tests. the first two of which present “clear patterns” to win, while the third pays out randomly.
What they found was that monkey like to gamble, and that they share humans’ “unfounded belief in winning and losing streaks.”
Okay, well. I’m actually happy to know that information. I think that was probably a fair way to spend money.
In fact, I would rather those hundreds of billions sent to the Ukraine have been spent on the monkey gambling program.
Elvis Dunderhoff contributed to this report.
