Rudy Blows the Whistle on Jewish Cock Size

Rudy Giuliani has become the first major figure in New York politics to blow the whistle on Jewish cock size.

Actually, no, wait. These are court filings by someone suing him.

However, I would say that is sort of a kind of “reverse whistleblowing.”

Rolling Stone:

Rudy Giuliani was sued for sexual harassment earlier this year by Noelle Dunphy, a former staffer at his firm. The lawsuit included a wide array of disturbing allegations against the Trump-loving lawyer — from behaving erratically while drunk, to exposing himself non-consensually, to demanding sexual favors, to making various sexist and racist remarks.

Giuliani denied everything, smearing Dunphy and asking the court to strike portions of the lawsuit and sanction her and her lawyer. Dunphy and her lawyer responded on Monday by asking for Giuliani and his lawyer to be sanctioned. They included audio transcripts of Giuliani saying exactly the kind of things he denied saying, and folks … it’s not great. The transcripts include a host of truly vile, bigoted remarks, as well as some of the creepiest come-ons the mind can imagine.

“Jewish men have small cocks because they can’t use them after they get married,” Giuliani said, according to the transcript. “Whereas the Italian use them all their lives so they get bigger.”

Giuliani railed against how Jewish people “want to go through that freaking Passover all the time” and how they should “get over the Passover” because it was 3,000 years ago. “OK, the Red Sea parted,” the transcript reads. “Big deal. Not the first time that happened.”

Giuliani doesn’t elaborate on other instances when the Red Sea was parted.

The transcripts also feature Giuliani discussing which celebrities are Republican. Giuliani is trying to think of someone in particular and Dunphy volunteers that Matt Damon is “very liberal.”

“Matt Damon is a fag,” Giuliani replies. “Matt Damon is also 5’2″, eyes are blue. Coochi-coochie-coochie-coo.”

Various websites list Damon as around 5’10”. It’s unclear why Giuliani invoked the 1920s song “Has Anybody Seen My Girl? (Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue)” or what it has to do with the actor.

Then there are the lewd comments directed toward Dunphy. “Come here, big tits,” Giuliani says on one occasion, according to the transcript. “Come here, big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me [indiscernable]. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. These are my tits.”

Matt Damon is for sure a faggot, and I think he is a lot closer to 5’2″ than to 5’10”.

That said: Italian men have this thing where they use teenage type sexuality as a way to manage the derangement of becoming elderly, and it creates a pretty major potential point of failure (at least outside of Italy).

For me personally, and I think for most Northern Europeans without serious mommy problems, from the time of the loss of sexual innocence, you begin trying to minimize the role of sex in your life, and this should become easier with age.

Every time you hear these stories of 80-year-old men licking employees titties at the office, it is always Italians. This is probably a separate phenomenon from the retrograde behaviors of modern men extending teenage sexual fixations into middle age and beyond. Or, it is mostly different. It’s a negative behavior, but most elderly men are engaged in some form of coping. It just used to usually be alcohol; now television addiction appears popular among the elderly.

I always say that if I ever make it to 80, you’ll find me in a dark room, chain smoking and scoffing while occasionally taking time out to verbally abuse the hired help.

You’re not going to find me sucking any 30-year-old secretary’s tits, I can tell you this much.