The Controversy That Wasn’t: Phil Robertson

Alexander McNabb
The Right Stuff
December 21, 2013

Right now the mainstream media has momentarily put down their witch-hunt for George Zimmerman, the infamous wife-beating racist murderer of black children, and focused their outrage on a brand new bearded white target. This time they’ve bagged themselves a real winner, they have a genuine white southern camouflage wearing redneck publicly known to pray on national television. You can’t tell me they weren’t positively salivating at the chance to pounce on this guy like a pack of rabid yet socially aware and politically conscious overgrown wolves. Phil Robertson checks off every box for being the American liberal’s version of the Anti-Christ. Problem is though, someone let the hounds off the chain a little too early.

Fueled from the success of their prosecution of the evil wicked witch Paula Deen, the liberal media establishment bit down on what it presumed was a telling admission of Homophobia with a bonus serving of Racism. Apparently poor ol’ Christian Phil had the misfortune to publicly say what Christians actually believe. A shame he didn’t have the foresight to understand how his comments would be pounced on and selectively interpreted in the worst possible light by intolerant liberals eager to lash another white Protestant victim to the stake. First Robertson lists off things from his head he thinks are sinful after being specifically asked to do so by an interviewer, then makes the deadly mistake of paraphrasing 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, completely oblivious to the fact secular liberals aren’t familiar with the cultures, beliefs, or holy books of non-liberals.

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

duck+dynastyWhoa there Phil, you didn’t realize they would latch on to your use of “homosexual” and “bestiality” in the same paragraph? Didn’t you know the Social Justice Gay Brigade is obsessed with promoting their lifestyle right now? That’s why they ignored all your slut-shaming, prostitute bigotry, and condemnation of alcoholics, by the way. Gay acceptance is the trendy thing right now, don’t go stepping on the hoof of that sacred cow. Say anything else you want, just don’t condemn homosexuality-oh wait a minute, there is one other taboo you might wanna avoid violating…

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field… They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!… Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”

Dammit Phil! Did you just recount your personal experiences with blacks prior to welfare and social assistance in a glowing light? What the Hell is wrong with you, didn’t you realize all those blacks you knew were suffering under the bootheels of white oppression? The fact you would relate your story in such a way as to conflict with the mainstream liberal narrative promoted by upper crust whites who assiduously avoid blacks at all costs can only mean that you are a bigot. Obviously your experiences as a poor young man working with black share croppers are completely invalidated by the Accepted Narrative.

The most amazing part of this story is that the liberal media is actually pretending it’s outrageous a Christian would actually say what Christians believe. The mental gymnastics necessary to dodge the implication they are skewering a man for his religious beliefs is staggering, since they’re basically asking us to think Christians have no reason to oppose homosexuality. The idea that a Christian promoting anti-gay beliefs is somehow controversial is an insult to common sense and general knowledge. It’s like being outraged that Jews don’t eat pork. Of course they do not approve of homosexuality, they’re Christians for Christ’s sake! Outside of the New Atheism movement, no one has the balls to just come out and condemn Christianity itself on the whole since it would put the supposed liberal tolerance of differing beliefs to the lie. In fact the liberal media attempts to disingenuously suggest that these are just redneck far-right extremist simpletons using the Bible as an excuse. Because you know, it’s an excuse, not an explicit part of their faith.

There was also of course, Phil’s comment about how he finds anal sex to be less appealing than conventional intercourse, a sentiment I heartily agree with. Naturally a few indignant homosexuals found the idea that a man could possibly think vaginal intercourse was more appealing were duly insulted and replied with their own crass rationalizations.

As others have also observed, Phil’s comments got him insta-banned from A&E, yet curiously Alec Baldwin’s rather more colorful statement to a photographer only got him a mild slap on the wrist and a gentle chiding from GLAAD, the same organization currently trying to build a bigger pyre to roast a duck hunter on.

Only time will tell if this charade holds up or if there’s finally an acknowledgment of what amounts to religious intolerance and thoughtcrime prosecution in our media mainstream.