World’s Largest Pilot Union Wants to Stop Using Language Offensive to People of Anus (Including “Cockpit”)

Hey, buddy – my gay asshole is the only “cockpit” on this plane.

It’s deeply offensive.

New York Post:

The world’s largest airline pilot union suggested airmen and women stop using terms purportedly offensive to women and LGBTQ individuals, calling out terms like “cockpit” as non-inclusive.

Air Line Pilots Association, Int’l, represents over 70,000 pilots worldwide and states that it collaborates with a United Nations agency on its policies.

The UN says “cockpit” is a term for a gay man’s asshole.

Not a room on an airplane.

According to a diversity, equity and inclusion language guide released in 2021, the ALPA lists numerous terms and phrases to avoid — especially “masculine generalizations” — that it deemed to be non-inclusive.

“Inclusive language in communications is essential to our union’s solidarity and collective strength and is an important factor in maintaining flight safety,” the guide states. “The purpose of this language guide is to offer examples of terms and phrases that promote inclusion and equity.”

Safety threat.

Some homo could crash a plane because he’s emotionally distressed by the term “cockpit.”

ALPA, for example, suggested replacing the word “cockpit” with “flight deck.” The purportedly offensive term “has been and may be used in a derogatory way to exclude women in the piloting profession,” the guide states.

Similarly, ALPA’s guide called for the words “man” and “men” to be avoided. It offered suggestions for the word “manpower,” including “people/human power.”


Manpower is better than what they used to call it: “big dick energy.”

“Who will provide the people/human power to support this event?” the guide stated as an example.

The guide also suggests avoiding using masculine terms, like “guys,” when addressing groups, since the word is not inclusive of “women, transgender people and people with different gender identities.”

ALPA advised against using “mother/father.” That phrasing could alienate “different family structures, such as grandparents as caregivers, same-sex parents,” among others. Similarly, “husband/wife” and “boyfriend/girlfriend” should be avoided since the phrases could ignore same-sex couples.

I’m so exhausted.