New Zealand Set to Ban Toxic Penis-Shrinking Chemicals from Makeup in 2026

If you’re trying to shrink your penis with these chemicals, you’d better get on it quick.

The window is closing in two years, at which point you’re going to have to find something else to shrink your penis with.

To be fair, if you’re looking to shrink your penis with chemicals, there are a whole lot of options.

The Guardian:

New Zealand is banning so-called “forever chemicals” in cosmetics from 2026, in what could be the first example of a country doing so.

The Environmental Protection Authority (EPA) said it has banned the use of perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS) in cosmetics to protect people and the environment from the chemicals.

PFAS are added to cosmetics to smooth the skin, or to make cosmetic products more durable, spreadable and water resistant.

They are a class of about 14,000 chemicals often used to make products resistant to water, stains and heat and are called “forever chemicals” because they are virtually indestructible.

An increasing international body of evidence is linking PFAS with cancers, birth defects and negative effects on the immune systems of humans and animals. The chemicals have been detected in drinking water sources, sea foam and spray, rain and groundwater, sea ice, and human blood and are found in cosmetics such as shaving cream and lipstick, as well as Teflon pans and pizza boxes.

Some states in the US have already proposed legislation to ban or limit PFAS ahead of federal regulations. California was the first major jurisdiction to ban all PFAS in cosmetics, in September 2022, with a transitional period for enforcement after 1 January 2025, while the states of Maine and Minnesota recently passed a law prohibiting products made with intentionally added PFAS chemicals from 2030. The European Union is working on a broader ban on the chemicals.

Once again, Rob Schneider – the funniest man in Hollywood – is right again.

The government of New Zealand was forced to bow to Schneider.

So, they all will.