RAPE ON ICE IV: “Dawn of the Ice Rapist”

Talk about “wherever I go, I must rape.”


In Antartica it’s so cold you have to piss into a tube because your dong will freeze and fall off if you whip it out – this guy is willing to risk that just to do rape.

Men are such pigs.


Investigators with the National Science Foundation’s watchdog office are heading to Antarctica in response to longtime allegations of sexual misconduct at U.S. research stations there — which the NSF director has described as a “pervasive problem.”

Special agents are expected to arrive Monday at McMurdo Station, the largest research hub on the continent where hundreds of scientists conduct fieldwork. The visit is scheduled through Nov. 17.

“I’m a special agent.”

“Oh yeah? What’s your specialty?”

“Baseless rape allegations.”

“Members of our investigative staff will be visiting McMurdo to prepare for a future on-site presence in Antarctica and meet with staff to explain our role,” Lisa Vonder Haar, the chief of staff for the NSF’s inspector general, said in a statement.

The trip comes more than a year after the release of a damning report by the NSF, which oversees all American operations in Antarctica, cataloging a culture of harassment and assault within the U.S. Antarctic Program. In addition to McMurdo, the NSF also collected concerns of sexual misconduct at South Pole Station, Palmer Station and other U.S. research vessels in Antarctica.

Well, if it’s their culture.

I mean.

Aren’t we respecting cultures now?

Seriously though, this is the first time I’ve ever in my life thought of the series of words: “a culture of harassment and assault within the U.S. Antarctic Program.”

Drawing on surveys of 880 current and recent employees, 59% of women said they had a negative experience with sexual harassment or assault during the program, while 95% of respondents said they knew of someone who was assaulted or harassed within the program.

Wait, 95%?

I want to make a made-for-TV move about this called “ICE RAPE.”

Or no-no: “Frozen Dong.”

Or wait – “He Had a Frozen Dong.”

“The Man with the Icy Dong.”

“Every woman I knew down there had an assault or harassment experience that had occurred on ice,” one interviewee told the report’s authors. Another woman in the report called sexual assault and sexual harassment “a fact of life” in Antarctica. Several men also recounted experiencing sexual harassment by men and women, according to the report.


I now want to do a “Nutcracker on Ice” style figure-skating play about rape.

This news story is so good.

The inquiry also revealed that a pervasive environment of harassment and assault was compounded by fears of retaliation.

“People on station fear, and rightfully so, that if they are harassed or assaulted and report it, they will be the ones who will be going home,” one person told the report’s authors. “When things happened on ice, the number one thing I heard was ‘don’t report it or you will go home and be blacklisted from the program.'”

That’s what I tell women after I rape them – on or off the ice, but I especially say that after an on ice rape.

When I’m washing up after the the icy rape, I say: “don’t tell anyone about this rape or I’ll blacklist you.”

Then I turn to her with my most menacing glare and say: “you’re such a pretty little thing – I wouldn’t want to have to put you on ice.”

The NSF commissioned the report in 2021 afters years of reports of sexual misconduct. In 2018, three women came forward with allegations that Boston University geologist David Marchant had sexually harassed them during research expeditions to Antarctica while they were graduate students. He was later fired from his university. In a statement at the time, he denied the allegations.

There was no evidence, by the way. I guess that’s why they’re bringing in a “special investigator” this time – to give some illusion of credibility. But it is always 100% “well, she said you did tho.”

David R. Marchant’s career was completely destroyed without a trial

I believe this is all true, because I believe everything women say, for no reason. I especially believe women on ice.

Or wait, no – I believe them because they are oppressed, and oppressed people are very honest for some reason.

As the old adage goes: “being oppressed increases moral fortitude, and therefore people who are oppressed have natural moral leadership qualities, and also, being in charge of things is all about moral leadership, even if you’re a for-profit company or an Arctic research station or whatever, and also, you can identify the oppressed by their lack of professional or personal success, and therefore, the least successful people should be put in charge of everything.”

Wise words.

We would do well heed them.

Who thought this was a good idea?

I supposed there is probably, actually, something to the claim that being in a small, isolated space in a co-ed environment creates sexual tension. I doubt that isn’t true.

Whenever there is sexual tension and the women don’t like the men who are involved in the tension, women claim it’s some kind of “harassment.” Note that the article never even says “rape.” It says “harassment on ice.”

If it’s not “penetrative sex” (which is the only type of sex, actually), then what is it? What are we talking about?

Is it tickling?

Tickling on Ice?

Ice Princess Meets the Tickler?

In reality, it probably doesn’t even involve touching. It’s just “he made me feel uncomfortable” and in the case of a ice base “and then after I was uncomfortable I had to be around him in small closed quarters for weeks and that made me way more uncomfortable.”

There’s no way to prevent this. Women have no natural defenses, physically. Their natural defense is to use sexual-emotional tactics to manipulate men into defending them from other men. If there’s a handsome man in charge that they like, they won’t feel like they’re being harassed. Even if there are unattractive men there, if the attractive man is viewed as a protector, they will feel safe.

Note: Please understand this is an absolute matter: there is no difference between “this man is my protector” and “I want to have sex with this man” in the mind of a woman. The only exception is with her dad/brothers. (Hopefully. I’m really not sure about that – they are supposed to register that taboo, but let’s just go ahead and not investigate whether they actually do. I think that is one thing about women we just need to leave totally uninvestigated.)

If they are alone with unattractive men, they will feel in a constant state of panic – as if the unattractive man is about to start tickling them in a vicious and disrespectful manner.

The issue is putting people in this situation in the first place. Women need to get married and have children. They need to stay at home. That’s why God created them. They don’t need to be out on ice.

Honestly, sending a woman to Antartica is basically the same thing as letting a woman date a black guy. It’s just like: “what is going on here, exactly?”

“What the hell are these bitches doing on ice?”

Snake Baker contributed to this article.