Category: Featured Stories
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UK: Police Investigate “Gang Rape” in the Metaverse
Good thing Britain doesn’t have real crime.
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China’s BYD About to Overtake Tesla as World’s Top EV Company
At least Elon still has Twitter.
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Not Much Happened in the Missing Week
But here are the main things I would have been writing about if I was writing.
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Hamas Found Guilty of Rape in Another Dimension of the Multiverse
This bitch is literally crying because Hamas didn’t rape her.
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Pope Benedict Would Reject Blessings for Gay Couples, Aide Says
Most people reject blessings for faggots, actually.
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Fatmericans Enjoy Killing and Dismembering Kids
How is this acceptable?
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Medvedev Says Psycho Zelensky Dreaming of Turning Kiev Into Gaza
So he could have an excuse to extend the war.
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Iran Sends Warship in Response to American-Jewish Move to War in Yemen
Iran is… the aggressor? Lolwut
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South Korea and America Conducting Drills to Assassinate Kim Jong Un
America doesn’t want people to get along.
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Burundi: President Condemns Anal “Marriage,” Says Faggots Should be Stoned
Why can’t we have leaders like this?
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Memetic Monday: It’s Good to be Back, My Dear Parasocial Friends
Also an essay about a successful donation drive.
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Big Boss “Incessant Poor Weather” Electronic Printer Realization Fiscal Mother Load
Stoic fish joined tight for a heavy load.
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I’d Marry Her (Just Pulling Memes and Writing Fake Articles Rn)
2024 is the year of positivity at the Stormer.
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After Years of Joe Biden Threatening War, Media Frames Xi’s Statements on Taiwan as Aggressive
What is going on?
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US Now Saying They’re Just Going to Seize Russia’s $300 Billion
Now, every country in the world, aside from the US client states in Europe, has a reason to push for a new currency.